#and while I can't find anything on it at the moment

[estranhossonhos]

It's obviously not a requirement I look for, whenever I meet someone (friends, bf/gf, doesn't matter - I mean people I want to keep around and nourish a relationship with); but I would love to have a significant other with this kind of mindset. That cooks with joy, plans every mealtime with ease, and feeds on other people's reactions to their food. In fact, whenever I get invited to eat at someone's house, and they complain that the food didn't turn up how they envisioned, or state that «it's nothing fancy» - oh, you have no idea how moments like this warm my body, heart and soul. And I wish I was writing all of this out of nostalgia, with that magical, slow-motion like remembrance about everyone gathered around a table, enjoying themselves, talking, laughing, ... but for me, it goes beyond that.

tw: mental health + unhealthy eating patterns

I try not to feel ashamed by confessing this, but I can't help but notice how people look at me weird. It's such an automated/basic thing everyone does, and I can't do it? «What do you mean? You need food to live, yet you can't cook nor do the groceries? ». Not quite, but I do need a whole day to do it, and a few days in advance to get myself ready for this mundane task. You see, my brain shuts off whenever I look at what's inside my fridge or pantry - if there's even anything in there to begin. I simply cannot put combine ingredients like you do (and it's not due to lack of knowledge). And whenever I can, it will most likely become my go-to meal for the next few weeks. It's a logistical nightmare to even consider going out to the supermarket. Yes, I could order online - but that's another task on itself. 80% of the times this gets me so overstimulated that, I've ended up (discreetly, I hope) crying in public, on a few occasions.

Don't worry, it's not an everyday occurrence. And for better or for worse, I am too self-conscious and pragmatic for this bad habit to take over. But whenever my neurodivergent brain is going through the slumps (you know: those occasional rough patches that resurface every once in a while, sprinkled with anxiety and depression), I prefer to stay in bed, disassociate and lose track of time, with an empty stomach. Even though I merely switched that moment with another filled with more guilt and shame towards myself. And yes, that also includes going out to eat. That's why I (while trying to play it cool) usually choose what somebody else ordered, or what the waiter recommended. This way nobody suspects anything is wrong with me, right?

Now, if this all seems childish and overly dramatic, congratulations: you are a typical functioning human-being. Believe me when I say this: I feel the same way you do, whenever I hear myself complaining about this «first world problem». But unfortunately, this drains the little energy we have to navigate our daily lives as neurodivergent individuals in a neurotypical world. Especially for those with a very tight monthly budget, who live alone or share a place with people they are not close with. Just like you, I used to find unnecessary and environmentally unfriendly all of those pre-packed, peeled and/or frozen meals, veggies and fruits. Nowadays I am thankful whenever I find them, since they quite literally have saved my life multiple times. Chemicals? Not healthy? Never heard of them. I need fuel to get out of bed and to not rot away. And if that fuel is a frozen lasagne with a weird ingredient list, so be it. I promise I'll compensate in a near future, when I am mentally and physically out of the slump, and I feel capable of asking for help (if needed) or to mask myself again as a typical functioning human-being 💪 So, next time you catch yourself complaining about those «unhealthy and ready to eat meals» or any other «unnacessary invention» that promises to make someone's life easier: take a deep breath, question everything but always try to do it out of pure curiosity. This way you're always reach the correct answer, be apart of less judgemental world, with more acessibility, compassion and solidarity towards one another.

Cooking for you is my love language.

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Familiar Touches

These were meant to be short headcanons, but then I thought, what if I just kept talking ~1k words

Jason tends to find himself averse to touch. He curls away from pats to his shoulders, stiffens at nudges to his arms, or brushes against his sides. From family to friends, it takes a long time for him to learn to relax into hugs, to not expect a knife in the back the second he lowers his guard.

But none of this is true when it comes to you. You, he can't get enough of. You, who he tears down his walls for without a hint of regret. (Because any pain would be worth it, as long as he can stay near you)

Jason is still learning to soften his edges, to drain the tension from his shoulders even when the two of you are alone. But there's some things he's already learned to love, some things that he lets himself bask in. And, namely, it's your touch. He has his favorites, the moments he can't get enough of, even if he can't admit it outloud.

He revels in the times you thread your fingers through his hair, slowly and mindlessly scratching at the base of his scalp. You tangle your hand in his soft, unkempt locks, and if he's lucky, you'll lightly and thoughtlessly pull this way and that while you watch whatever's playing on the tv. He goes a little weak in the knees every time, especially if you start to try and twist the strands in short, messy braids.

He adores when you fidget with his hands, bending his fingers and tracing the lines of his palms as you talk. It sends shivers down his spine in a way he can't describe, makes his stomach flip, and his heart skip a beat.

It's just so you. He finds himself curling his fingers with yours all the time, just for the off chance it reminds you that you can fiddle with his hands, his clothes, his hair– anything that's his– whenever you want.

Jason's found that he's developed a soft spot for holding you– or being held by you, depending on the day. Really any form of being wrapped around each other works for him, but he loves hooking his arms around your waist and hiding his face in your chest, just blocking out the rest of the world with the sound of your heart beat.

He loves coming up behind you, dragging his lips from the spot behind your ear that makes your breath hitch to the base of your throat to suck a bruise over your pulse, all while having his arms wound tightly around your middle, keeping you against his chest while you laugh and squirm.

He melts, inside and out, when you settle in his lap or throw your legs over his, your weight welcomed and warm as he tries not to show just how much his eyes want to light up– all because you're near him. It's grounding, connecting, to have you so close.

He'll indulge himself, sometimes. Let his hands wander to the back of your thighs, knead his fingers on your calves, drag his palms over your sides, and just linger in the feel of your skin.

He loves it– loves you– especially when you're the one who initiates it, when you're the one who drapes yourself over him like he belongs to you. (Because he does)

He prolongs the moments where he can press his forehead to yours, close his eyes, and just breathe in time with the rise and fall of your chest. He holds his palms against your face, wonders if it's all a dream when your hands gently grab at his wrist, your thumbs moving rhythmically back and forth over his pulse.

Jason wants nothing more than to stay like that for the rest of his life, every nerve and every cell of his attuned to you and the way you press into him in return.

He's really not picky, when it comes to being able to touch you, to letting you touch him. He looks forward to it, cherishes the memories of your soft skin, and even softer smiles, especially when he's away from you and on patrol.

He smiles to thoughts of you tucking your hands in the pockets of his hoodies, claiming it's warmer this way. He softens at memories of you hooking his arm with yours, insisting it's only because if you slip on ice, then he's going down with you.

He savors every touch, every passing contact he has with you. But Jason does, if you pick and tease at him enough to get him to admit it, have a touch he prefers above all the others.

Kissing you, stealing the air from your lungs as your eyes flutter shut, is the touch that he can never get enough of. Your fingers fisted into his clothes, his hand on the small of your back, drawing you closer, closer, those are the times he treasures the most, the memories he holds so tightly in his heart.

Kissing you, so lost in the feel of your mouth slotted against his and the smell of your scent filling his senses, quickly becomes something he can't live without.

He's gotten good at stealing kisses, quick and no-so-quick moments where he can't tell where he ends, and you begin. He's gotten even better at convincing you to duck into alleys and closets with him, all for an extra minute to be pressed together, so lost in each other that nothing else seems to exist.

He's enamored by you– by all of it. He didn't know he could so easily lean into someone else's touch, find refuge in a hug or a fleeting brush of your fingers over his knuckles. But he knows now, knows that everything he's ever wanted– could ever need– all comes down to you and the way you hold him close. Like he's something worth keeping.

And at the end of it all, it's a feeling Jason wants to fight for, a dream he'll never stop chasing, a cherished moment he wants to hold in the palms of his hands for the rest of his days.

[chaoticwriting]

GOTHAM'S NEW ROGUE 4

Part 3

Danny looks at the guy skeptically. Last time someone approached him, they were Red Robin, Spoiler and Signal. This time, a dude that looks like an average office worker approaches him.

Trickster: Sure, why not?

???: Thank you.

Trickster: So, what do you want with me?

???: Let me introduce myself first. I am Clark Kent. A journalist from the Daily Planet. I would like to ask, is it true that you know Batman's secret identity?

Trickster: You mean those pictures I stole from his wallet? Yeah sure. Why do you wanna know?

Clark: As you know, I am a journalist. And it is our job to find out about news and share it with the general public. I am just thinking, what would you like to exchange for the real identity of Batman.

Trickster: Hmmm..... What price huh? Let me think for a moment.

Danny then continues to eat his food as he pretends to think about Clark's offer. Honestly, he doesn't give a damn about this Clark guy. He is also a vigilante once, so he knows the importance of their secret identities. While slurping away his last coke, Danny gains a very good idea (He thinks it is a good idea).

Trickster: Well, I don't think I would sell the pictures just yet since the card is still useful and I don't need money. However, I have a very interesting topic you can investigate.

Clark: Oh? What is it?

Trickster: Try searching for something called GIW. It is a government branch and I'm sure it will be a hit piece.

Clark: GIW? What is that?

Trickster: Well that's for you to figure out. Oh well. I'm pretty full now. Gotta go now. See you never.

Danny then disappears right in front of Clark before he can do anything. Clark can't even hear or see the kid anymore with his enhanced sense and x-ray vision further cementing that the kid probably has teleportation power.

Danny meanwhile is laying on his makeshift bed while watching the stars after he uses his power to clear the sky thinking what he just did is very smart. Unfortunately, he doesn't know this decision is as good as the previous time he thinks his idea is good.

-1 month later-

Danny is picking up scraps from the junkyard for his next prank. Collecting some toasters, some blenders and even some radios. Danny has spent a lot of time these past few months, tinkering with machines that he practically knows what component is in which appliances.

Suddenly, he sees a very familiar device among the junk. A sleek silver gun with a few green buttons on it. It doesn't have the usual designs that Danny used to see but Danny knows without a doubt in his mind that it is an ecto gun.

The problem is that, the gun is new. Very new. Like it is just created. And that means one thing. A GIW agent is here. Shit! Danny needs to run. But where? He has checked before this but the only place with enough ectoplasm to hide him is either Gotham or Amity Park. No where else in the world has as much ambience ectoplasm to hide him from the ecto detector.

But now that they are in Gotham, he might as well not hide since at such close proximity, the ambient ectoplasm can only hide him if they are not close. Danny is thinking very hard when his ears pick up something. A group of people is coming his way, and from the way they are all carrying heavy devices, they are probably GIW agents.

Danny against his better judgement turns invisible and flies high enough so that if the agents decide to shoot him, he will have time to dodge them. Danny watches quietly as the ecto detector bips faster and faster the more they go to where he is previously.

???: Damn it. I thought this is where Trickster is. But it's just the gun that you lost.

???: Hey, at least we don't need to file reports of missing weapons right? Also, didn't that thing already get set up by the Fentons to find Trickster?

???: It's probably them messing it up. It's not like them messing shit up is something new anyway.

???: Yeah. Let's just say it is a false alarm. I hear the higher ups are thinking of lowering our budgets next year if we don't produce any results soon.

???: Ugghh, don't remind me of that. Not only do they pressure us like that. I even heard that there is some guy that has been snooping around our base, taking pictures and stuff.

???: I hate those reporters. We are trying to do our job and save them from those savages, and yet here they are messing with us. Calling us genocidal maniacs and the second coming of Nazis.

???: If that is not bad enough, they even say that they feel like we should treat the ghost as if they are people. Ghosts are not people! They are merely beast pretending to be someone we used to know and love.

???: I would love to just punch those reporters to the face if not for the fact that Boss ordered us to stay put.

Suddenly their walky talky start to beep.

Walkie-talkie: Agent P, Agent Q. Return to the base of operation immediately. We are receiving visits from the higher ups.

Both of the agents reply with Roger and hurriedly run towards their van and drive off somewhere. Danny looks at them and decides, he has found what his next prank is going to be.

[narxcisse]

★ — Jimmy NSFW Alphabet

Pairing: Jimmy x GN!Reader.

CW: Jimmy himself is a warning, suggestive, sexual content.

Art cr: I can't find the artist, if anyone knows who is please tell me!

English isn't my native language.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Jimmy isn’t the most tender when it comes to aftercare. If you’re lucky, he might toss you a water bottle or wipe you down with a half-clean towel, but don’t expect heartfelt cuddles. He sees aftercare as something “unnecessary,” though deep down, he might feel a flicker of guilt for neglecting it.

B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of himself is his hands—dexterous, strong, and capable of control. On you, he’s a sucker for the curve of your neck and collarbone, especially when marked by him. He loves leaving visible evidence of his ownership.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s not shy about being messy. Whether it’s marking your body or letting it get wherever it lands, he enjoys the possessiveness of it. He likes to cum inside you or on your face, cleaning up isn’t exactly a priority for him.

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jimmy secretly gets off on the idea of control—tying someone up, blindfolding them, or even having them beg for him. He’d never outright admit it, but the power dynamics drive him wild.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s experienced but in a raw, instinctual way. Jimmy knows what he’s doing, but it’s more about his confidence and charisma than any technical skill. He’s not one to focus on your pleasure unless it feeds his ego.

F = Favorite Position

He loves having you on your knees for him—whether it’s to assert dominance or because he enjoys the sight of you looking up at him. If it’s something more intimate, he’ll go for a position that allows him to see your face and reactions like missionary or cowgirl.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Jimmy isn’t goofy at all during sex. He takes it seriously, often brooding or intense. He might throw in the occasional cocky smirk or biting comment, but humor? Never.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps himself reasonably groomed, though not obsessively. He doesn’t pay much attention unless he knows he’s going to get lucky.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

While he can fake intimacy well, genuine moments of tenderness are rare. If he’s feeling particularly vulnerable, he might let his walls down briefly, but it’s fleeting and layered with his usual bravado.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Jimmy has no shame in masturbating and probably does it semi-regularly, often fueled by frustration or boredom. His thoughts often drift to darker fantasies, involving control or revenge.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Control and power dynamics are his primary kinks. He’s into light bondage, marking, and maybe even a bit of pain (giving, not receiving). He also has a possessive streak, enjoying the idea of “claiming” you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere risky. He thrives on the thrill of almost getting caught—an alley, a car, or even a public restroom. The more dangerous, the better.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He’s turned on by defiance. If you challenge him, push back, or act like you’re not impressed by him, he’ll be all over you. Alternatively, vulnerability can also flip a switch in him—it makes him feel powerful.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that makes him feel out of control or vulnerable is a hard no. He’s also not one for overly sweet or “vanilla” acts; anything too soft makes him feel exposed.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He enjoys receiving far more than giving and expects you to put effort into pleasing him. When it comes to giving, he’s skilled but impatient—he sees it as a means to an end rather than something to savor.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough, unless he’s deliberately drawing things out to tease you. He thrives on urgency and intensity, rarely slowing down unless he’s in a rare, softer mood.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He loves quickies, especially in risky locations. They’re convenient, exciting, and require no emotional investment, which suits him perfectly.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jimmy is all about risk, whether it’s location, trying something new, or pushing boundaries. He thrives on the adrenaline that comes with pushing limits.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s got decent stamina but isn’t focused on marathon sessions. He’s more about intensity than longevity, though he can go a couple of rounds if the mood strikes.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t have toys but wouldn’t mind using them on you—especially if they emphasize his control over the situation. He wouldn’t use them on himself, though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jimmy is a relentless tease. He enjoys withholding just to watch you squirm, drawing things out until you’re begging him to stop playing and just take you already.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not overly loud but makes deep, guttural sounds that are low and rough. He’ll throw in the occasional sarcastic comment or sharp laugh, just to get a reaction.

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)

Jimmy secretly enjoys the idea of marking you in ways that last—hickeys, scratches, or even something permanent, like a tattoo or piercing, to remind you that you’re his.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s lean but strong, with a wiry build that hides surprising strength. He’s confident in his body, knowing how to use it to his advantage. For his size, 8 inches with a slight curve to the right.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is high, but it’s not just about physical desire—it’s tied to his need for control and validation. If he’s feeling frustrated or out of sorts, it skyrockets.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Jimmy rarely falls asleep immediately. Instead, he’ll light a cigarette, brood for a while, or even leave. Sleep isn’t something he associates with comfort or safety, so he avoids it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

lilia dorm uniform vignettes + book 7 parallels

I was rereading Lilia's Dorm Uniform vignettes recently and honed in on the third part, which reminded me a lot of the events of book 7. I think it's highly likely that part 3 here foreshadows book 7, similar to how Ortho's Precision Gear vignettes foreshadowed the original Ortho's passing, revealed in book 6.

***Lilia Dorm Uniform vignette(s) and Book 7 spoilers!***

Quick recap, these vignettes focus on Lilia looking after a baby bat with an injury. The third and final part involves Malleus chatting with him about the experience. Lilia describes parenting as thus: "There's never a guarantee in life that someone will be there to support you. Once you fly out into the world, there may be days when you go without a proper meal and sleep on an empty stomach. You'll experience failures and setbacks. You may have days where your heart feels like it'll shatter into a thousand pieces. As long as you're alive, there will be moments—many moments, in fact—when you must face adversity entirely on your own. A parent must ensure their child can handle such harshness while the little one is still under their protection."

Knowing what we know now... It sounds as though Lilia is reflecting back on his time traveling the world in hopes of finding a way to hatch Malleus from the egg. Firstly, Lilia (especially in the past) has expressed sentiments about being alone. He was an orphan taken in as a ward by the Draconias, yet he still never felt as though he "fit", not with the way the senate treats him like a lesser being, and not with his two best friends (Maleanor and Raverne) marrying and conceiving a child--starting a family, something Lilia feels he does not have and cannot have himself. There's never a guarantee in life that someone will be there to support you. And that's true of Malleus as well. His father is missing and presumed dead, his mother died in a battle to ensure his safety, and his grandmother is kept busy with royal duties to be there for him all the time. That's why Lilia had to step up as his father figure--because otherwise Malleus would have no guidance, just like Lilia did in his youth, which led him into becoming closed off and unwilling to learn about the world beyond Briarland. He doesn't want Malleus--or any of his "kids"--to perpetuate the hatred and distrust that claimed so many lives and left scars on the survivors.

Once you fly out into the world, there may be days when you go without a proper meal and sleep on an empty stomach. This line is reflective of the experiences Lilia had on his travels. In the beginning, it was particularly difficult due to the prevailing anti-fae sentiments among humans. Lilia was not welcome in their communities; he'd have things and nasty words thrown at him and literally be chased out of towns. True, he's also had to deal with rations and always being alert while serving as a general, but it feels particularly frustrating in this context because 1) none of his men are around to support him in these moments; he is lacking the feeling of being a part of a group, and 2) the harsh treatment is being committed by a group for which he cannot retaliate, so it forces Lilia to stand there and just take it... Both conditions which are also true of Lilia when he is able to safely bring Malleus's egg to Castle Blackscale. The senate gang up on him, isolate him, and deem him unworthy of touching the heir... and Lilia can't do anything about it. He isn't accepted at home and he isn't accepted by the world. This makes it that much more meaningful when, later on his travels, he meets an elderly couple in Harveston that welcome him into their house and home. They offer him a warm bed, food, and, more importantly, they are his company. They want to hear his stories, learn more about him and his life experiences. They’re that light at the end of his tunnel--but those things aren't promised to him, and Lilia knows he can't count on them all the time, especially as he travels to the most remote regions. And don't we all fear that dreadful realization of being out on our own with no net to catch us if we fall?

You'll experience failures and setbacks. You may have days where your heart feels like it'll shatter into a thousand pieces. As long as you're alive, there will be moments—many moments, in fact—when you must face adversity entirely on your own. Again, Lilia is also speaking about himself. He was forced to abandon his princess and flee with her child. He lost his best friends and large sections of his home country to a bloody conflict. He took the senate's verbal abuse and degradation. All of this, he faced alone--even when Baur tries to stand up for him, Lilia silences his ally because, deep in his heart, he thinks he deserves this. The wild bat incapable of love, only able to slaughter, doomed to be alone forever. It's through his forced exposure to the world that Lilia learns to open up, and it's through the connections--after enduring so many hardships, so many trials and tribulations--he makes with others that he comes to learn he is capable of love. As Silver says, this must be why the happiest moment of his father's life is the moment of Malleus hatching. A dragon's egg can only do so with the love of a parent--and Lilia has always been that for him. Diasomnia is Lilia's new family, and he's no longer alone. The problem now is that it's Malleus's turn to learn harsh life lessons, and he isn't exactly prepared for them. A parent must ensure their child can handle such harshness while the little one is still under their protection. I think this line perfectly summarizes Lilia's motivations for leaving in the fashion that he does. When Lilia attempted to depart NRC without so much as a formal farewell to Malleus and Silver, many fans were confused as to why he was acting so callous towards his children. Some theorized that Lilia was lying about losing his magic or had some other ulterior motive for lying--when, really, I think the answer is much simpler than that. Lilia wanted to leave as soon as he could, without facing his kids, because that's just in his nature. As Malleus points out in the vignettes: "Is that why you took the approach you did? [...] I suspect this bat will thrive in the wild." This entire time, Lilia hasn't been the gentlest or the most prudent with the baby bat. He fed it milk from a cup instead of a bottle (which resulted in getting the bat all wet), roughly toweled it off, allowed it to hang in a tree when it may not be ready to fly yet, brushed off the possibility of it being hurt again if it falls out, etc. On a surface-level, it looks like bad caretaking. But Malleus wonders if it's intentional. Because the bat was put through those experiences, it can take care of itself once it has parted from Lilia's care. I suspect Lilia may think the same of how he raises his own children. After all, Silver and Sebek sometimes bring up how hellish Lilia's training sessions with them were. Some of his bad childcare is due to Lilia being disorganized and just winging it in the moment, yeah (something which Malleus comments on at the end of the vignettes)--but a lot of how he raises others is also built on the idea that this should make the kids stronger and able to stand on their own.

When Lilia goes to return the baby bat to its flock, he says, "Go on, little one. You can't cling to my hand forever. Get flying." Then Malleus laughs and remarks, "Heh, it seems rather attached to you. It doesn't want to let go." Lilia continues with, "I'm shaking my arm and it's still not letting go... Goodness gracious. I didn't raise [the baby bat] to be so clingy. There comes a time in every creature's life when they have to take action. This is your time, little one. Don't miss your window." And, at last, when the bat is able to take off, Malleus realizes, "[...] I must say, it was rather harsh of you to forcibly shake off the poor fellow when it clearly liked you. Did you intentionally act detached so that it wouldn't fall too far behind the colony?"

THIS WHOLE SCENE IS AN ANALOGY TO LILIA TRYING TO LEAVE NRC WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO HIS KIDS.

In this analogy, Malleus is that bat that Lilia has reared--and when it comes time for Lilia to leave, Malleus won't allow for it. Malleus is the clingy baby bat gripping onto his caretaker for dear life. I wonder if Lilia knew that his prince would have a hard time with it, so he tries to have one last happy send-off--so he can grant Malleus the happiness of being invited to something, to be included, and to provide him ample opportunities to socialize with his peers from all the dorms and make other connections so they can be there for him when Lilia is no longer able to. Then Malleus was late, and the time for Lilia to depart has already arrived. But maybe it's better this way, Lilia may have reasoned with himself. If Malleus doesn't appear, maybe he can't be hurt. If Lilia acts detached, maybe... just maybe... it will give Malleus the final shove he needs to let him go, to open up to the people who are going to be present around him, so he won't "fall too far behind the colony", like what happened with the actual baby bat he raised. This is especially suspect because Lilia makes the same plea to the first years earlier in the party by asking them to please give Sebek a lil' push if he ever needs it. "Just... If you notice [Sebek is] ever stuck at some point during your time here... I would ask that you card soldiers give him a little nudge."

THE LILIA DORM UNIFORM CARD FIRST CAME OUT ON THE JP SERVER IN FEB 2023 ALONG WITH SOME EARLY BOOK 7 UPDATES 😩 It’s such good foreshadowing for what happens much later in the same book… OTL I just hope that Malleus is able to learn the lessons Lilia wants him to. Then Malleus can finally be the baby bat that’s able to take flight on his own and join a flock without his guardian at his side forever and ever…

[zolo-san]

I know I just rambled in the tag, but if you took the time to read all that, might I direct you to this post & my ramblings there as well~

Something about Zoro being one of the most misunderstood and mischaracterized characters in One Piece is funny (not haha funny, funny sad) to me because?? That’s literally how his introduction starts?? With people misunderstanding him and thinking he’s some big, monstrous demon who kills with cause and cannot be trusted or tamed.

Meanwhile the actual Zoro is a driven guy who is often both literally and figuratively directionless in life and found his goals in life through good people (first Kuina and then Luffy). He's tied up in the Marine base not due to those actual crimes he commuted (well not inherently anyway) but because he ‘disrespected’ a Captain's son and stood up for a little girl. He accepts the challenge they present to him and because Zoro himself is a guy that puts his money where his mouth is he assumes the Marines will uphold their end of the deal and let him go (note the actual shock when Koby tells him the truth)

He joins Luffy's crew but also outright says he’s not gonna let his goal take second place to Luffy or anyone else's for that matter, he bears the weight of two people's dreams, his heart isn’t going to be swayed by some pirate.

Speaking of Kuina, her impact and influence on Zoro's life isn’t talked about enough for my liking. She was Zoro's first friend, his first rival, his first goal. He looked up to her so much and his reaction to her passing cracks my heart in half every time because you can seem him just..go numb. Kuina, dead? Kuina, the strongest person he knows, gone? Kuina, who swore to him just yesterday they’d race to the top of the world together, doesn’t exist anymore. His blank face only cracking within the privacy of his sensei before he begs. He begs on his knees, tears streaming down his face please please please let me take Kuina's sword with me. Let me take our dream to a high neither of us could imagine. I won’t let her name die here.

On top of gaining the Wado Ichimonji that day Zoro also gained…fear. Not of death, well at the very least not his own, he gained his fear of not being enough. Kuina kicked his ass every way a person could and still died, what could someone like him do? So he trains…and trains…and trains some more. Overly, obsessively, constantly telling himself he’s not enough, he’s weak, he can’t protect anyone like this and everyone's death would be on him.

As for Zoro being cold and stoic that’s just…not completely true? He’s not stone, he can be excited or sad or angry just as much as most characters he just sucks at showing it canonically (Kuina thinks he hates her before their final fight after all). Sure he’s not as forthcoming about it as some of the other Strawhats but Zoro's more of an action guy anyway, he'll show his love with his protection and unwavering faith.

In conclusion, Zoro is a ridiculously stubborn, incredibly loyal, mildly emotionally constipated, do what you say/say what you mean kinda guy.

(Also that whole ‘Zoro would kill the whole crew if Luffy asked him to’ thing? Top ten stupidest things I��ve ever heard from the fandom and that’s saying a lot. He’s loyal not brainless and heartless guys if Luffy asked him to do that, he would never but I digress, Zoro would square the fuck up with him so fast. DPMO.)

[foone]

Annoying edge case for lycanthropy: a dragon who is also a werewolf.

(A short story I wrote back in 2022 for twitter. I've slightly re-edited it, but it's still "twittery" in how it uses linebreaks (because there used to be post-boundaries there). Sorry! )

So on the full moon, they uncontrollably turn into… A much smaller and squishier humanoid. They can't wait to get their scales and fire breath and wingspan back. They're so vulnerable in their werewolf form!

No one at the werewolf support meetings is sympathetic.

They're all humans or nearly, so one of them is like "it's just so scary. I'm huge, and inhuman, and I feel like I'm made of weapons, with my claws. Everyone fears me, and I fear myself sometimes, never knowing what I might do, if I lose control and just let the rage out…" And the werewolf-dragon is like "and then you turn into a werewolf! It's so annoying, I agree"

Everyone else just turns to look at them, slowly

They do take some tips about werewolf safety. They just do it backwards, because instead of making sure they can't get out and cause death and destruction, it's more about making sure no one can get in and attack them in their merely nigh-invulnerable werewolf form. When you're a dragon, turning into a nearly unkillable rage monster of claws and fangs is a major downgrade. It's a real moment of weakness, and who knows if your ancient enemies or some upstart knight is going to try to take advantage of that moment of weakness?

They get infinitely more annoyed when they finally find a witch who can do the right ceremony and lift the curse of lycanthropy. "there… With the burning of this silver candle, you are finally free. You're human in all moonphases, now." "WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, HUMAN?!"

They got turned into the humanized version of their werewolf form. Permanently.

Always read the fine print before asking a witch to do a complicated magical ritual on you.

"also, question: how the hell did you burn a silver candle? Isn't the melting point of silver…" "one thousand eight hundred degrees, yes. It wasn't easy. Look. "

She pulls back a curtain and points. There's a complicated bellows system being vigorously pumped by a bunch of little black cats, each wearing a tiny witch's hat. They're sweating with exertion and the heat.

"we're done, my lovelies. You can stop now" The kitties hop down off the bellows and lie down at her feet, or wander off looking for food. The witch looks down at the former dragon, now barely 5 feet tall. "why do you think I asked for my fee in cat food?"

"but it was ALL cat food. Don't you need to-" The former dragon pauses mid-sentence, as the witch pulls off her traditional witchy headwear to reveal two pointy feline ears. "you were saying?"

"nevermind. Thanks, I guess." The dragon walks to the door, then turns around. "hey, I need to find out how to be a human, would you happen to know anything or anyone I can ask?" The witch looks up from sitting on the floor with a leg behind her head, licking the inside of her thigh "wouldn't have a clue, sorry love", she says with a smile.

The witch has to show up later and bail the former dragon out of jail. Apparently they accosted a city guard after being told "you can't just wander around the city naked". The dragon told them to contact the catwitch because it's not like they know any other humanoids.

The guard wasn't physically hurt, but getting jumped by a small naked human after merely pointing out you need to wear trousers or a dress or something in public is the kind of thing that leaves mental scars that'll take a while to fade.

Even if your tiny nude opponent was mainly trying to scratch or bite you with claws or fangs they no longer have

The former dragon ends up living with the catwitch. She could use some help with the bellows, and even if the dragon can no longer provide her own fire, they still know a lot about it.

And even if they're now a short little weakling who has to be reminded to wear clothes, they are a bit better at pumping the bellows than a pack of kittens.

Plus they can help with making potions and such in ways the cats can't, what with having thumbs.

They live together for a while, until the grumpy now-human finds out that another dragon has taken up residence in their former hoard.

And that will just not do!

So the dragon convinces the catwitch to come with them on an adventure to raid their own hoard and defeat (or at least evict) the dragon.

So they set out, the former dragon having to figure out the weaknesses in their own defenses and how to navigate a space built for dragons, not tiny humanoids. They're wearing the minimum in clothing they can get away with, and wielding a sword almost bigger than they are.

And following, the catwitch with a broom and a big sack of magical devices and reagents, and a little procession of kittens in their hats.

(the former dragon uses they/them pronouns. Their human body does have a sex, but when gender was explained to them they called it a "foolish human thing" and never bothered with it, just like their opinions on silverware and public indecency laws)

As far as anyone can tell, dragons have only one gender, and it's dragon.

Anyone who has asked further questions about dragon gender, sex, or reproduction has ended up crispy and good with ketchup.

They manage to evict the squatting dragon, and the witch is like "well, I guess you got nearly everything you want now. I'll take my cats back to the city…" And the ex-dragon is like "WAIT… I was thinking, maybe you could… Use my hoard as a new shop? There's plenty of room"

"are you asking me to stay?" "n-no… I mean, yes? Shut up. It's just because it would be a good place for you. After all, your shop has that leaky roof, and you were running out of storage space, and the mayor always wanted you kicked out…"

"oh I see, so it's just for me? How kind. You don't care either way, right?" "right! I don't care! I don't need or want you around! I don't care about silly human things" "human?" she asks with a smile, wiggling her ears on the top of her head. "shut up you know what I mean"

"so you don't want me to stay around you? You don't have a reason why you want to be near me, to be with me?" she says "with" with a certain slant on it, as she rests her arm on the shoulder of the former dragon, having to lean over her to reach. "n-n-n…"

The witch switches to cupping the former dragon's face in her palms. "and your face is so warm, little one. Are you trying to breathe fire? You're turning red, so maybe you are…"

"stop it! I… I just…" "yes?" the witch lets go, but her tail curls around the waist of the former dragon, like they are walking hand in hand down a beach.

"I like you, alright? I want you to stay. I want to be with you! Is that so wrong?"

"nope!" says the witch, happily pulling them into a kiss.

We zoom out, past a pile of gold coins and goblets and scepters, as little black kittens in adorable hats play in the hoard, ambushing each other in play-fights from the high ground of a treasure chest.

[xitsensunmoon]

Hiii it's me again!

I was wandering... Has the donor ever snapped and told the vampires to leave? I'm picturing their reactions as different depending on what time in their relationship it happens but...y/n yelling at them to just LEAVE (after an argument or just when they are fed up and miserable bc of their presence alone) and never come back and one or both of them (physically or with words?) threatening them with "do you think you are the one in control? Or that you have a choice and can order us around?". And the donor is just "do it. I don't care anymore" leaning to their claws??? This is my brairot talking btw so bare with me if it doesn't make sense, but would something like that happen? What would S&M reactions be? I'm very much curious 👁️👄👁️

When tugged at both sides, anyone would snap. You can't exactly afford them to leave, as much as you want them to, your headache would only get bigger. So the furthest you'll go is to order them to leave you alone or leave the house.

When you finally do, the first thing you see on their faces is mostly surprise, somehow neither of them expected your patience to thin this fast. And to your own surprise, they'd concede, maybe with some reluctance, but it would be awfully quiet in the house for the next week or so, to a point of being unnerving.

That's when you realise that maybe, just maybe, you should try to be bolder. To take your own space back, as much as you can.

You'd feel around, walking on eggshells, just to find out that in a lot of things your now housemates don't even mind you to take the lead. If anything, your newly gained liveliness and confidence almost made them seem less intimidating. The knife-like sharpness of their eyes and grins didn't change, but now you somewhat knew how to handle it.

But then you make the same mistake Sun and Moon did with you - push on the wrong button. And even with both vampires towering over you, throwing threats, something clicks.

Have they ever followed through with any of their implied threats? And more importantly -

Would you want to find out if they do?

OK lmao that did not answer your question in any way BUT to be fair it's very difficult to answer djjajd

At the very start you wouldn't be brave enough to, and your attempt to regain control by trying to demand they do as you say would be laughed at, oh what a silly little thing.

When you have known each other for a little while, they'd become just a teeny tiny bit more mindful of how they go about interacting with you, the stakes getting higher the closer you three get.

They are all bark no bite type of guys, despite having done plenty of demonstrating of what they're capable of, never directly hurting you. It does take a while for you to realise that.

But yeah if reader does end up calling them out on said fact as in your example, putting yourself in danger willingly, that's a clear case of you actually finally winning. Both Sun and Moon would be quite distressed by your actions, silently yanking their hand away from you. Moon would angrily grumble something, hurrying to leave the room, while Sun would stand there for a moment with a blank face, before firmly stating "I count on you never doing anything this stupid ever again, yes?" and hesitantly leaving as well.

I doubt they would ever snap back at you when you're distressed, unless they are too.

[brotherwtf]

Hi, about the fluffy prompts

Lately I’ve been thinking about insomniac gale who develops a habit of falling asleep on John. Maybe it’s post war buckies, maybe it’s modern AU, where they are roommates but what if gale, who is tortured every night, accidentally falls asleep on John’s shoulder and is absolutely mortified after, but two days and another sleepless night later, Buck sees Bucky on the couch, watching some movie and his shoulder suddenly looks so inviting. “It was an accident, there’s no way I can fall asleep again” but he does and suddenly John becomes his favorite pillow. And John is more than happy to help because he has always been worried about Gale. Oh and what if one night, Gale’s initial plan was to sleep in his own bed, but torturous hours later, he knocks on John’s door, shifting uncomfortably, embarrassed. John takes one look at him and goes “come here”

oh my God this is so cute!! I always hc that Gale has hella sleeping problems, maybe even before the war, and like just CANNOT sleep when the war is over, just plagued with nightmares and sleep paralysis every night

he can't sleep in a bed anymore, as soon as his head hits the pillow he's thinking about German guards rousting him from his sleep, or an officer coming to shake him on the shoulder and tell him he's flying a mission, so he often tries to sleep on a chair or the floor as to not arise those memories, it often doesn't work, whenever he closes his eyes he's reminded of flames and fire and burning men, he hasn't had a restful night in god knows how long

he's a little jealous of how easily John seems to sleep, knows he must be plagued by nightmares as well but never seems to show it, always seems to be rejuvenated and refreshed every morning while Gale still feels like he's dying

he has moments of peace though, what if John came to visit him and Marge before Gale left her and they're both sitting on the couch, dutifully staying out of Marge's way while she makes dinner

maybe Johns just reading or something and Gale can feel his eyes droop with exhaustion in the late summer afternoon, doesn't even realize he's fallen asleep on John's shoulder until he can feel John rustling his shoulder

"didn't wanna wake you, Buck, but Marge says dinner is ready," John whispers and Gale's absolutely horrified by the position he's in, his face tucked into John's shoulder with his body curved into John's

it's the evening, Gale realizes, and he must have slept for a couple of hours, at least before he was woken up, and he realizes that's the longest he's ever slept uninterrupted

it haunts him, that oh so relaxing sleep on John's shoulder whenever he sleeps fitfully in Marge's bed, and that paired with a bunch of other shit (namely the feelings he has for his boy best friend), he decides to leave Marge and find John

and he shows up on John's doorstep, desperate and pathetic like a stray dog, asking for a place to stay because he left Marge, and John, always so fucking kind, allows him into his home

Gale banishes himself to the guest room even though John says he can take the master, and hopes that just being in John's proximity can help him sleep, but he's still awake to the long hours of the night with nightmares and curses to himself, why isn't this working?

and then they find themselves in a similar position again, sitting on the couch while the radio drones a baseball game or some music and Gale can't help but think that John's shoulder looks like a much better pillow than anything Gale's ever seen, so he lets himself lean over, and John's arm comes around to wrap around Gale's shoulder and pull him closer, and Gale sleeps for six hours in John's arms

it must be an accident, it can't be that Gale can only sleep in John's arms, so he tells himself he's going to sleep in his bed, still thinks it's only John's presence that's making him more relaxed, John had always been that sort of relaxing force for him, but when he jolts up in the night again after hours of fighting sleep, he curses to himself and quietly pads to John's room

he hopes he can just slip into John's arms without waking him, will slip out just before the sun rises and John will be none the wiser, but he can see John's body shifted towards him when Gale quietly opens the door and Gale curses to himself again, hoping he didn't wake John with his foolish ventures

but John just reaches his arm out, beckons with his fingers for Gale to come closer, and it's like John has a string attached to his heart because he can't stop his feet from moving towards the bed

"come here, Gale" John whispers, voice hoarse with sleep, and that's the final push for Gale to collapse in John's bed with him

and John so easily wraps his arms around Gale's waist, tucks his face into Gale's neck as an invitation for Gale to do the same, and it's almost as if John's blocking the nightmares and the restlessness with his touch and for the first time in years, Gale sleeps through the night

loved this prompt I love an excuse to make Gale a little pathetic with it 😔

[wings-of-ink]

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to pop in and say hey and give some updates. They're all very mild, but I feel like I've been quiet lately so I wanted to pop something out here for you so you get a feel for where I'm headed.

I have some asks that have piled up and I will be chipping away at them here and there. I had a weird week that I am recovering from, and my mind has been super unfocused lately. I'm doing better now, but had a bout with a few days of insomnia and anxiety. I am already a sleepy-sad mess in the winter, so this does me no favors. I'm popping in when I have some bursts of energy. Your asks and comments have made me smile, think, and get pumped for the days to come though, so I thank you for that. ^_^

Even though my energy is down, I am still finding enjoyment in working on some of the extras! Even if I can only work in short bursts, it's helped me find some respite. I have worked out a short-form character creation for the Cursed Birthday extra. I also have that outlined. My goal is to have that released by the end of this month!

I still plan on opening a Patreon soon, but I have kept putting it on the back burner as I focus on just making it through this time of year, lol. I am just so stupid-tired most of the evening when I have free time and am very over it. In future years, I'll be working ahead during the other seasons and then take a solid block of time between December and January off. I vote that we hibernate.

Before I open up Patreon, I want to have some work banked up and ready to go. Part of the benefits will be voting on what you want to read, but I need to have some basis to go off of for that and content to put out in between. I'll post some teasers and samples so you can see if the extras I have in store will tickle your fancy. I have a running list of both SFW and NSFW extras I'd like to write. Someone asked me earlier to spill (leak) some of my tea on these, so I will happily share a few things I have cooking in my noggin.

Regular (mild) Extras: * A series of stories about being "snowed in" with each of the ROs and how they spend the day with MC. * Each RO will get character-specific stories, featuring cute and romantic moments for things like Zahn's birthday or baking cakes with Oswin.

Spicy Extras: * A series of tales that are erotic dreams that the MC has while traveling with the group. Anything can happen here. * Each RO will have stories featuring spicy content relative to their character's desires. For example, in the first month of Patreon, Oswin will be featured in the spicy tier. The story is titled, "Honey," and is interactive. You can use your imagination. (shout out to the anon who already read my mind and called me on this, lol)

**Addendum** I remember what else I was going to include here so I'm editing. I have some corrections (typos and grammar and such) and a patch for Zahn's moment in Chapter 5 to put through but I cannot get the itch "Butler" application to work on my laptop still. I can't patch without breaking saves all over again. I am trying to find another computer I can do this on so I don't break saves just for a patch.

I think those were the main bits I wanted to touch on (hell if I actually remember, lol). I am recovering from my weird week and am happy it's the weekend. My new kitties are doing fabulous as well. They are very cute and keep me on my toes. Oh, and Arlo knows how to open doors, so there's that. Miles, who was very shy at first, has become a sweet little socialite too.

Arlo just looks grumpy, but he is an absolute ham.

Miles likes to lay with his feets dangling.

[rinsthighsweat]

They enter your room while you're changing

Rin, Sae, Shidou, Isagi and Nagi | masterlist

۶ৎ Rin Itoshi

Rin is the epitome of stoic focus, but even he isn’t immune to awkward situations.

His first reaction is pure instinct—he freezes, his gaze immediately snapping to a neutral spot on the wall to avoid looking at you.

Despite being used to seeing teammates change, your presence makes this different and oddly unsettling for him.

He mutters a quick, cold apology like, “My bad. Didn't know you were in here,” and walks out briskly without a second glance.

Internally, Rin is irritated—partly at himself for walking in and partly because he can't shake the minor embarrassment from seeing someone he respects in such a vulnerable state.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Sae Itoshi

Sae is calm and composed even in awkward moments, rarely flustered by anything.

When he enters and sees you changing, his first response is an indifferent glance and a neutral comment like, “Oh. Didn’t realize.”

His nonchalant attitude stems from years of experience in locker rooms, but there’s a flicker of politeness in how quickly he turns away and gives you privacy.

Sae doesn’t overthink it. Once he's out of the room, he moves on as if nothing happened—he’s got bigger things to focus on, like perfecting his play strategy.

However, if he notices you're embarrassed later, he might quietly mention, “Relax, I didn’t see anything,” just to ease any tension.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Ryusei Shidou

True to his chaotic personality, Shidou’s reaction is anything but subtle.

He smirks as soon as he realizes what’s happening, leaning casually against the doorframe instead of immediately leaving.

“Whoa, looks like I walked in on a show,” he teases, winking playfully without a care.

Despite his antics, Shidou respects personal boundaries when necessary. After a few seconds, he laughs it off and finally exits the room, though not without a final, cheeky remark like, “Next time, send an invite.”

He finds the whole situation amusing and will probably tease you about it for a while but knows when to drop it if you seem genuinely uncomfortable.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Yoichi Isagi

Isagi is quick to turn red with embarrassment the second he realizes what’s happening.

His polite instincts kick in, and he stammers an apology like, “Oh, crap! Sorry, sorry—didn’t mean to!” while immediately averting his eyes.

He practically trips over himself trying to back out of the room, fumbling to close the door behind him.

Even after leaving, he’s still flustered and mentally berating himself for the awkward encounter.

Later, he might approach you nervously to apologize again, assuring you that it was an honest mistake and that he didn’t actually see much. His sincerity is evident in how earnest he is about clearing up the situation.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Seishiro Nagi

Nagi is often too lazy to react dramatically to most situations, and this is no different.

He steps into the room, blinks slowly when he realizes you’re changing, and tilts his head with mild confusion. “Oh. You’re changing?”

His nonchalant demeanor might come across as insensitive, but it’s genuinely because he doesn’t see what the big deal is.

After a brief pause, he shrugs and calmly turns around, walking back out without a fuss.

Nagi won’t bring it up again unless someone else mentions it, in which case he’d probably just shrug and say, “Yeah, stuff happens.” The awkwardness doesn’t linger for him because he sees it as just another minor inconvenience in life.

[mythicmanuscripts]

Sweet, subby boy Aemond would love full body massages. I know it.

You're so right Anon, so right.

Happy, sweet, kinda fluffy and non-explicit NSFW sub!Aemond below the cut. Enjoy lads!

I'm convinced that Aemond actually just ADORES being pampered and treated very softly? But only from you of course. If anyone else tried to help him or pamper him he would see it as insulting and like the person is belittling him.

But when you do it he just feels so nice? Once he starts to relax around you and you start to guide him more when you're alone then he really starts to unwind with you.

(Sidenote: a big part about Aemond finding that comfort and safety with you is actually about ensuring protection and security for him from others? You stop servants from entering your chambers with him unless they are scheduled or are called, you get sheer fabric to hang over the windows so people can't see in from outside, maybe even move your quarters to the most remote part of the keep. For him, especially because of the brothel incident, his emotional security stems from physical security in the sense of not feeling vulnerable when he starts to let his guard down. Okay anyway back to the point of the ask...)

It takes you a while to realise that Aemond enjoys being pampered because of how closed off he tends to be? For the longest time Aemond would stiffen the moment you touched him and almost seemed touch averse. So for the first part of your relationship with him you focused on a lot on ensuring not to touch him unnecessarily and always asking for consent every time, even when it's very obvious he expects and wants that touch.

You respecting him like that, always letting him come to you, always offering yourself but never taking from him unless you've expressly asked and even then being as gentle as you can, that's what makes a world of difference to him. Because Aemond actually craves touch and warmth and the feeling of being able to hold onto someone at night and know they'll be there when he wakes.

Once you start to see him seeking those touches from you and he starts to allow certain things much more often, then you start to push it a little to see how much Aemond wants. To your surprise, you never met any pushback at all. You would offer him something, like brushing his hair or massaging his back or even just helping him get dressed or undressed, and sometimes you could swear that you could actually see the tension relax in his shoulders. He always seemed so much more content then, like once you got your hands on him he would just allow himself to become plaint in your arms, allowing you to do whatever you want.

That's how you learn how much he likes body massages. You first offer him a back massage after a long ride on Vhagar followed by a long meeting with Aegon when he arrived back to your chambers in a godawful mood. At first you think you may have fucked up by offering him a massage because of the way he goes stiff and quiet, stopping himself in his step and for a moment you think he may walk out the door.

He looks down then, unable to look you in the eye. He mumbles the 'yes please' so soft that you almost don't hear it and when he looks up his cheeks are flushed. He's clearly all embarrassed and uncomfortable actually saying yes but it's so clear that he really wants it.

Once you have his permission, the trick is to not make it seem like a big deal. Just lead him to bed, slowly remove his shirt and pants and let him lay on his stomach. If you talk or ask him anything or even compliment him then he'll get tense again and uncomfortable. You have to just be nonchalant about it to let him enjoy this without having to give you any input.

Over time as your relationship progresses the massages get longer and you get to massage more of his body. He still won't ever openly ask, but he will remove his own clothes and lay on his stomach in bed, nodding his head when you ask if he'd like a massage (even though you both know he does want one, you always just check anyway).

Interestingly though he doesn't actually fall asleep while you massage him, not even when he's so tired he's practically dead on his feet. The massages can definitely help him sleep better and fall asleep faster, but only once the massage has ended and you climb into bed with him. Often you're certain he's fallen asleep but then once you move away he's mumbling thank you and turning onto his bed with his one arm held out resting on the bed, a clear invitation to join him. He falls asleep almost instantly then, but only once you've come to bed.

Maybe what really changes things is when he gets to give you a massage? It's not the type of thing Aemond would think of randomly, not because he doesn't want to (he will take any and every excuse to serve or touch you, always) but because he doesn't think you'd agree if he offered.

But then one day you come to bed after him and he can say by the way you walk that your muscles are stiff. Maybe it was from training or dragon riding or even a fall but whatever it was made your muscles sore. Aemond wants to fix this of course, though he's not sure how he could help.

You can see how he's starting to get antsy about this and how he's not going to settle until he knows you're feeling better. So you ask him to run you a bath, which he does of course. After that Aemond is just standing around, clearly trying to figure out what to do next. You suggest the massage mostly as a joke really because you ended up laying on your stomach the same way he does when you massage him.

To your surprise, his eyes light up? And well, you certainly arent going to turn that down. He's so gentle with it too, like he's afraid he may break you if he's too rough. Honestly it's not as much a massage as it just getting your back rubbed but you arent complaining, it still feels good and relaxing.

It's after that incident that the massages become more commonplace and more sexual. Pretty soon one of your favourite ways to spend a night with Aemond is first to bathe together, then for you to massage Aemond until he's completely relaxed. You often ride him then, just flipping him over and letting him grip your hips and watch you. After that you'll lay together for a little bit and the moment Aemond has recovered he gives you a massage before you both go to bed.

[strawberryblue-blog]

Period —FC BARCELONA.

summary: barca's boys reacting to your period when it is annoying or painful.

warnings: none. mention of the menstrual period, reaction, angst, pain, discomfort, cute/soft.

words count: +1.3k.

Pedri González.

When you tell him you got your period, the first thing he does is drop everything he was doing to become your special supplier. "Give me five minutes, I'm going to the store," he says as he quickly puts on his shoes.

You know it's over the top, but you can't help but smile. He returns with your favorite brand of pads or tampons, a couple of chocolates, chamomile tea, a hot water bottle and whatever else you've been craving.

"I know chocolate doesn't cure everything, but I thought it would help," he says as she arranges things on the table and hands them to you with a smile. "I got you, love."

Ferran Torres.

He knows that during your period you prefer to stay in bed or on the couch, so he takes the reins of the kitchen and the housework so you can rest.

"I know you don't feel like moving, so let me do you something tasty," he says as he puts on an apron. You hear him fiddling around in the kitchen, looking for ingredients and following a recipe that he clearly struggles with, but insists on finishing.

"It's made with love, even though it didn't come out so pretty," he says as he serves you a hot dish. The aroma and his effort comfort you more than you expected. Maybe later you help him clean up so you can finally snuggle in bed and receive a lot of his affection.

Pablo Gavi.

When he sees you squirming on the couch, he carefully approaches you and asks, "Do you want me to hold you?" Perhaps a bit fearfully so as not to disturb you or invade your space (or your sudden mood swings)

When you agree, Pablo will take you. You settle against him, and his arms wrap around you like a warm shelter. No matter how long it takes, he doesn't move or complain, even when you change positions several times.

He will walk you to and from the bathroom, comfort you, lift you up, help you. If you need to talk, he listens; if you remain silent, he simply gives you little kisses on your hair and makes sure you are comfortable.

Fermín López.

He finds you in bed complaining about colic and tiredness. He would be very sorry to see you go through something like this, so Fermín wouldn't leave you alone for a second.

He sits beside you, carefully, strokes your hair and says in a soft voice: "You can handle this, you're much stronger than you think. But let me do anything for you, I can cook, make your bed, bathe you, anything. I'm here for you."

He holds your hand, and his presence is enough to make you feel that you are not alone. Every once in a while, he says something funny or sweet to lift your spirits.

Alejandro Balde.

"Let's get distracted," he tells you as you look for something to watch together. He'll do anything to make you forget you're on your period.

He lets you choose absolutely everything: the movie, the series, even the snacks you're going to share or even if you just want to lie on his chest and rest. If you decide to play something on the console, it doesn't matter if you're terrible at the game; he makes sure you have fun. He'll even talk your ear off so you don't suffer.

"Today is your day, there are no rules. What else do you want to do?" he says, willing to go along with all your decisions.

Héctor Fort.

When he sees you doubled over in pain, he disappears for a moment and returns with a glass of water, a painkiller and a hot compress, what did he ever see you do to yourself.

"This should help you," he says as he helps you put the compress on your belly. He himself will pat your belly or hug your legs to help you. Then, he stays by your side to make sure the pain subsides.

If he sees you are uncomfortable, he adjusts the pillows or brings you more blankets without you having to ask. He would go to the store or make pastries (your favorite), all for you during this annoying period.

Lamine Yamal.

He sees you in a bad mood or on the verge of tears and decides to change your mood with a touch of humor. He takes everything with humor and of course he was going to do it for you when you need it the most.

"If your uterus could talk, I bet it would tell me to shut up but you are an angel" , he says with a smile. Then he starts making up stories or making jokes that make you laugh in spite of everything, he would pretend to fall down, snore, etc.

"See, you're the only person who laughs at my bad jokes. I'm sure that means you love me more than your hot tea." I'd say when you unexpectedly laugh together with him and almost forget about your period. Your goal in life, fulfilled.

Pau Cubarsí.

There are days when you don't need words or grandiose actions, and he knows it. He sits next to you in silence, watching you carefully. If you need something, he does it without you having to ask.

If he sees you are uncomfortable, he adjusts your pillow, brings you a blanket, or simply puts his hand in yours to let you know he is there. His caresses are soft and gentle, he cares for you as if you were fragile and delicate and maybe that's because you are. But Pau is even more so.

You would spend it in bed, him hugging your belly while your favorite series is on in the background. You can laugh or cry, you can moan, sweat, get dizzy, ache or anything but Pau is there. Hugging you like a slug.

[milliesfishes]

hi hi hi hi hi !!!! i know you’ve done billy with a clumsy girl, short and tall girl BUT what about billy with a girl who is always sleepy, she’s just always ready for a nap, if she gets cozy, she WILL be falling asleep 😭

-🧸🎀

౨ৎ꣑ৎbilly with his sleepy girl౨ৎ꣑ৎ fem reader x billy the kid @babydollemsy <3 <3 <3 <3

Billy lowered himself to his knees, setting a gentle hand on your back. Your arms were folded on the table, head resting on them. He couldn't see your eyes, but it was easy to guess that they were closed. "Baby? You okay?"

Slowly, you lifted your head, blinking groggily. "Mhm."

He couldn't help his smile. "You fell asleep again."

Sitting up straighter, you stretched, squeezing your eyes shut and smiling softly. "I tried to wait but then it was so warm in here and we've been out for two whole hours..."

"It's okay, sweetheart," he promised, smoothing a hand over your hair. It was a little messy on one side where you'd been lying down. "You ready to go? I'm all finished up."

"Mkay," you mumbled, blinking sleepily. He wouldn't have dared leave you alone if the saloon wasn't nearly empty and if the bartender wasn't a good friend of his. When a friend had beckoned him to a back room to chat, he'd known there was a chance you'd be passed out when he came back. Had it been a crowded night he would have brought you with him.

One thing Billy had very quickly learned about you was that you had the ability to fall asleep just about anywhere. Whenever you spent the night, you would pass out quickly, especially if the two of you had participated in activities beforehand that left you both bare. But it wasn't just in bed that you would fall asleep in the blink of an eye.

In your favorite flower-filled meadow you'd dozed off in his lap more times than he could count. Even when you were on the same horse sometimes, Billy would feel you start to grow heavier, your body slumping against him. He'd smile and tap your waist when that happened. "Stay with me, honey. Almost there."

When he brought you to the bar with his friends, oftentimes he'd sit you in his lap during a poker game. You liked watching him play, looking at his hand with curious eyes. But if the temperature was just right and you got cozy enough, there were times when you'd rest your head on his shoulder and close your eyes. Billy was quick to adjust, keeping a hand on your middle and holding you to him so you wouldn't slide off his thigh.

He thought it was adorable, but you found it embarrassing at times. Especially when it would happen in public, you'd whisper to him, "You should have woken me up."

"Nobody thought anything of it," he'd whisper back, kissing your forehead. "You were sleepy. It's okay."

Since you were so prone to sleep, it was far more concerning when you weren't able to.

Billy woke one morning while it was still dark to you sitting up in bed, your knees pressed to your chest. He frowned, rolling over and reaching over to you. "Baby?"

"I can't sleep," you mumbled. He could see how tired you were, your eyes dull. When he thought about it, he couldn't remember you having taken a nap of any kind today, which was unusual.

For a moment he wasn't sure what to do. You'd never had troubles of this sort before, not while he'd been around. Reaching for you, he tried to find a solution. "C'mere, sweet girl. You're okay."

You crawled into his arms, slumping against him with a little "Hm." Billy couldn't help his smile, pressing his mouth to your hair and breathing you in for a moment.

He let his hand trail under your nightdress, flattening his palm on your spine as he spoke softly to you. "D'you remember that day when we counted clouds? 'n you saw one shaped like a heart?"

"Mhm," you mumbled, resting your head on his shoulder. Billy pulled you to sit on top of him, and you snuggled close.

"Think about the clouds, baby." He spoke in what he hoped was a soothing way, still rubbing your back. "Those pretty clouds...you looked so pretty that day."

You smiled into his neck. "Pretty clouds."

"Yeah." Billy could feel you relaxing against him, and he stroked your hair, twisting a soft strand between his fingers. "Oh, my girl...you're so sleepy, huh? You're getting so sleepy."

His words had their intended effect, and you sighed, closing your eyes. Your breathing grew soft, and he never ceased his gentle stroking. When your body gave its telltale signs of sleep, he murmured, "There you go."

Kissing your forehead, he began to let himself drift off too, sure you'd stay in your dreams until morning, the place you loved most.

[that-boleyn-boy]

Give us the Infodump !!

>_<

Oki dokes!! So the whole thing was based around the idea of “what if Caitlyn met Isha while being involved with Jinx and they grew close”. Very found family, very silly, had lighthearted intent originally.

And then I remembered that Isha dies.

So, taking it from the top (copy and pasted ramble btw)

What if Caitlyn grows close to Jinx and Isha . She’s got a family again, Jinx and Isha filling the voids left behind by her family and Vi. Her, Jinx, and Isha sit in a little circle coming up with new signs for Isha to use. Isha likes to sit in Cait's lap and play with her hair since Caitlyn wears it down around them. Isha suggests the idea of dyeing a streak of Caitlyn's hair light blue, specifically the bit that hangs on the left side of her face when she has her bun. Caitlyn isn't super down with the idea at first, not knowing how people topside would react but she can't just say no to Isha. So one day she leaves with a blue streak in her hair and dye on her face. Jinx offers to give Caitlyn her first tattoo but Caitlyn wants it to be a surprise for her and Isha. She ends up mirroring Jinx’s cloud tattoos and getting Isha’s helmet tattooed. Jinx dismisses it a bit, but cries once Caitlyn leaves.

Caitlyn would cover Isha with her cape and let her like hide in it when she wore it. Caitlyn being the overachiever she is, probably knows sign language or at least knows a bit, and she taught Isha how to sign “I love you.”

Isha never used it until she was fighting Warwick.

Speaking of which. During the battle against Warwick Caitlyn gets injured trying to get to Isha before she sacrifices herself. She tries to claw her way closer, pushing and shoving to try and protect Isha. Vi is protecting Jinx, and Caitlyn gets wounded and collapses, trying to pull herself closer in a pathetic attempt to save Isha. She’s frantic when she wakes up from being unconscious. She stumbles through her house, calling the girl’s name, hoping that by some slim chance, Isha will run up to her and give her the same hug Isha would give whenever Caitlyn visited Jinx. She blames herself every day for it. If she’d just been a bit faster, a bit stronger, a bit tougher, Isha could be alive. Even once the war is over, she wakes up and expects Jinx and Isha to be there with her, Isha cuddled between the two. She cries every time it happens.

After the war, she learns how to embroider and adds the little swirl design Isha had on her goggles onto her eyepatch. Whenever Caitlyn sees a kid playing with their older sibling or their mom she has to take a moment to steady herself. It’s not Isha. It’s not Jinx. It’s not Jayce. It’s not Cassandra. Caitlyn searches the vents of the hexgates every time she can, looking for Jinx, hoping that she’ll find something. Before the battle Caitlyn painstakingly paints the Kiramman crest on Jinx’s back.

“This is a one time thing, got it? I wont associate with any other fancy Piltie house,”

“I know baby. I’m almost done,”

Eventually she finds a bit of paint, it’s the same color that she painted the crest with. Caitlyn breaks down, leaving things that Jinx liked down there, hoping that when she goes down again, something will be moved, food eaten, anything. She leaves stuffed toys Jinx liked, snacks Jinx would eat, drawings that her, Jinx, and Isha made together. She gets her hopes up every time. She’ll embroider pieces of clothing with designs that remind her of Jinx, clouds, bullets, “X” designs, etc. She knows it’s in vain but she can’t help it.

The reason she’s so convinced that Jinx is alive is A. She’s gay and pathetic and very sad, and B. A little while after the finale, Caitlyn finds a box of eye patches on her desk. All of them are colorful and customized, all in Jinx’s style.

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love (joel miller x f!reader, no outbreak) Chpt 5

Chapter 5: Say A Little Prayer For Me

Word count : 13.6k

Chapter Summary: After rescuing Commander Williams and sending Maria back to Delta 27, you and Jack go back to Delta 30 to find and rescue Z and Reggie. Joel has a hard time with your absence, feeling himself fall apart. He can't imagine what life will be like if you don't come back.

Chapter warnings: fluff, flirting, mutual pining, language, mentions of combat and war, blood, violence, hand-to-hand combat, mentions of guns and a knife, anxiety, panic attacks, use of Y/N, smut (MDNI 18+), descriptions of injuries, ANGST, switched POV's.  

A/N: all imma say is this one is a roller-coaster... enjoy 🖤

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

Joel’s POV

It’s only been 24 hours since your last message. Joel was going crazy, checking his phone every five minutes, had the news on constantly, and he even got so desperate and called the army at one point to ask the status of you. They hung up on him telling him that it was confidential information and that your location could not be disclosed. 

Tommy would call or check on him every few hours to see if he had heard anything. Both the Miller brothers were on edge, and couldn’t focus on anything but their girls. 

Over the next 3 days Joel would message your chat when he felt overwhelmed, missed you, or felt anxious he blew up your chat log with about 20+ messages. 

‘Baby, please come back to me. I need you…’ 

‘You are everything I want and more. I need you to come back to me.’ 

‘I hate that I can’t take your place and it can’t be me out in harm's way.’

‘I love you darlin’, but I need to say that to you with my arms around you, lips to yours. I need you here with me.’

‘Please come back to me and Sarah. We need you in our lives. Now that you’re here, we aren’t, I’m not letting you go.’ 

‘I want to spend the rest of my days with you, taking care of you, protecting you, loving you… please, I can’t lose you.’ 

‘I want to write poems on your skin with my lips.’

‘I will never forget the moment I realized I loved you.’ 

‘You changed my world darlin’. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.’ 

‘One day, I’m gonna marry you. Spend the rest of my days trying to make you as happy as you make me.’ 

‘I got your letter today… Let’s do that barbeque when you get home. I’ll invite everyone for you to meet, we’ll make it a big deal, I’ll have Sarah decorate the yard and house, you and I, we’ll cook all day together, then we’ll host the best damn barbeque you’ve seen. And I’m taking you dancin’, we’ll get all dressed up, and I’ll get you your own hat and boots. We’ll dance the night away. I’ll hold you so close and sing to you how much I love you. I’d sing it from the rooftops, my love.’

‘You asked for my ideas, I wanna take you out to this place in the city, I already have our name down, since theirs a waitlist. I wanna get you dressed up, take you shoppin’ for anything you want, then take you out and worship the ground you walk on. You deserve only the best, my love’ 

‘I wanna take you and Sarah to a concert to that artist ya’ll like, Taylor Swift? I’ve been listenin’ to her music, learnin’ the words, so I can sing along with you both. The second you get home for good, I’m bookin' tickets.’ 

‘I wanna take you up in my truck to this lookout a few miles away from here, we can get pillows and blankets and deck the damn truck out with those fairy lights if you want to, then we can star gaze and I can wrap you in my arms and hold you while you watch the universe above us, while I hold mine.’

Joel came home the second day to Sarah looking at his computer, he hadn’t told her what was going on, he didn’t want her to worry, she looked at him with tears in her eyes, “Is Y/N going to die?” she asked. 

He set his things down and grabbed her into a hug, “No, no baby girl. She’s not gonna die…” he held her and kissed her head. 

“Then why are you sayin’ all those things? Why did she say those things? Dad, what’s going on?” she held onto him, tears slowly coming down her face. 

He held her in his arms and told her as much as he knew, told her that you and Maria were assigned to rescue someone really important because you two were really good at what you did and that the assignment was 3 days and that you would be pulled out by the 3rd day which would be tomorrow. 

She asked why he didn’t tell her, she knew he had been stressed the last couple of days but just thought it was work. 

He told her he didn’t want to burden her with things that were so uncertain, he was trying to protect her, not hide anything. 

The two of them watched a movie together that night and ordered some pizza. The next morning when she asked to stay home from school to be home when news came in, Joel didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

Tommy came over early the next morning and the three of them anxiously waited by their phones and computers. Hoping, praying, and wishing to hear from you or Maria with good news of your safety. 

When Tommy’s laptop dinged that afternoon, they all froze, not knowing what they would now learn was the outcome of the two women they loved. 

Reader’s POV

Jack followed you as you went through the building, the both of you watching for threats and clearing every space you went through. 

You knew you needed to get Reggie and Z out safely. Still, something in you tugged to get all of your belongings from Joel, at least all your letters and pictures from him, and if you could, grab your laptop as that could prove to be helpful for communication if the radio went down, but also when you had a moment to let Joel know you were ok. 

You first wanted to find Z, he was your priority. He was probably terrified and you hoped with everything he was safe. 

When you left for your first field assignment and saw how many children were dead in the street, out in the open, you told yourself that wouldn’t happen to Z. When you got back, you told Z that the second he heard anything that would signal it is a combat zone he needed to get inside somewhere and suggested he go to either your bunkhouse or Reggie and Terrence’s. You prayed he would be in one of them, make it easy to grab him and get out. 

You looked back at Jack as you stopped at the end of the stairs, “How far of a walk is it to Delta 27?” 

“If we can find a car, that would be better but it's about a 10-mile walk… maybe more.” 

You nodded, one more thing to do, find a car. 

“Ok, once we find Reggie and Z, we need to find a car and then get to 27.” you said thinking, and then took a breath, “Jack I need you to promise me if anything happens to me you’ll get Z out safely…” you looked at him, trying to hold it together. 

Jack looked at you, putting a hand on your shoulder, “I know we just met but for right now, you and I are partners, we are getting out of here. Even if I have to make a deal with the devil, I’m getting us out of here, alive.” 

You nodded and let out a puff of air, “I know, I trust you.” 

Your leg was killing you, you glanced down and then opened up your medic pouch and pulled out a syringe and bottle of lidocaine, you drew up a small amount and then injected it around the wound, to provide you temporary numbness to the area. You also swallowed two pain relievers with some of the water you had and then looked at Jack as you zipped your pouch back up. 

“Ok, if we are where I think we are, we need to head up north, if he listened to me, he’s in one of our two bunk houses… Reggie could be actively triaging in the med tent but I have no idea. We will get Z and then look for him, sound good?” you said as you made sure your ammo was full and everything was in working order. 

Jack nodded, “Got it.” 

You pulled your necklace out again and kissed it, “Say a little prayer for me cowboy…” you said and then took a breath and opened the door, you and Jack making your way up the road. 

Maria’s POV

Maria made it to 27 and saw within minutes that Reggie had made it there too, he must have been evacuated before things got bad. 

“Oh thank god you’re ok!” Reggie came over and started working on Maria when he looked around for you, “Wait, where’s Y/N?” he asked, then looked down at her, worried. 

“She went back into 30 to look for you and Z!” she said, wincing just as he started treating her shoulder wound. “Reggie, I need your radio… I need to get in contact with her. She’ll go on a wild goose chase looking for you.” she looked up at him. 

Reggie looked at Maria and nodded, he looked at another medic, “Hey, get me the radio!” the other medic nodded and then left to grab it. 

Reggie started pulling away the packing gauze you had done on Maria’s abdomen when she looked at him with hope in her eyes, “Reggie, you wouldn’t happen to have grabbed your laptop before leaving, did you?” 

Reggie nodded concentrating on working on the wound, “Yeah, why?” 

“I need it, I need to alert someone about our safety back at home. Can I use it when you’re done? Please?” Maria pleaded. 

Reggie nodded, “Of course… you just need to let me do my job before you ask for all these amenities, damn.” he chuckled and began sewing up her wound, “You’re lucky, this wasn’t too bad of a hit, almost hit your spleen but missed it by a hair. You’ll be fine there, but your shoulder is done, you’ll be released to go back home on medical discharge.” he said as he worked, “You lucky bastard. You and Terrence getting shot, getting to go back home. Why can’t I get shot?” he jokingly said. 

“Oh shut up, it’s not all that glamorous, it hurts like a bitch.” Maria groaned as he continued with his sutures. 

The other medic came over with the radio, Maria switched to the channel that you had been on last, “Delta 30, this is Maria in 27, do you copy?” she said softly. 

She waited a few moments before repeating herself. 

More static came through and then Jack’s voice came through, “Delta 27 this is Jack in Delta 30, we copy.” 

Maria smiled and whispered, “Thank god.” to herself before hitting the button again, “Jack, are you still with Y/N? Over…” 

“Maria? Is that you? Over.” she heard your voice come through. 

“Yes, and I have Reggie here too. He made it out. You’re only looking for Z, got it? Over.” she said. 

“Roger that. We are heading to his potential location now. Will keep you posted. Over.” you said and then there was a loud explosion in the background. 

Maria’s heart sank, “Y/N? Jack? Are you still there? Over?” 

There was static for a few moments and then Jack came through, “We are still here, but we need to go so we can get out of here. Over.” 

“Roger that. Stay safe and we will see you soon. Over and out.” Maria said before handing the radio back to Reggie who then set it on the table next to her bedside. 

Reggie had also gone and got his laptop, “Here, do you need some help sitting up?” he asked softly. 

Maria nodded and he helped her sit up gently and slowly. 

Maria logged into her Skype account and messaged Tommy who she saw was already online, her hands were shaky from all the adrenaline and pain, and she figured typing out an update would take twice as long. 

‘Hey babe, can you talk?’ she messaged. 

Instantly Tommy initiated a call, and Maria answered. 

“Oh thank god. Where are you? Are you back at base camp?” Tommy asked with a sigh of relief. 

She heard in the background Joel’s voice, they must’ve been both panicking waiting for you both to contact them. “Maria?” Joel said coming to come look at the screen. 

He looked like a wreck, his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying, Tommy had the same look. Both of them with looks of worry and concern written all over their faces. 

“Where’s Y/N? Is she ok? I haven’t heard from her, but you’re calling, where is she?” Joel said in a panic, eyes tearing up thinking the worst had happened. 

“Joel, I need you to take a deep breath for me. Y/N is fine.” Maria said softly. 

“Then where is she?” he said voice cracking. 

“Long story short, I got hurt in the field as we were leaving… Y/N literally walked into open gunfire and pulled me out to safety. She then carried me up 13 flights of stairs to where we were taken away via aircraft rescue.” she said softly. “On our way back the pilot was told that Delta 30, which is our home base, was under attack and was an active combat zone. She and Jack convinced the pilot to drop them off as they would need reinforcements and wanted to get Reggie and Z out.”  

Joel put his head in his hands, ‘Of course, you did that… you wouldn’t leave Z behind’ he thought to himself. 

“When was this? Who’s Jack?” he said quietly, trying to gather everything you told him and process it. Tommy sighed and put his hand on Joel's back to comfort him. 

“We dropped them off about an hour ago, however, I just radioed her and Jack, I let them know that Reggie was here, that they just needed to get Z out…” Maria explained, seeing how stressed Joel was. “Joel, she’s going to be ok… Jack is a Special Forces para-rescuer, he’s one of the best, she’s safe with him.”

He nodded, hearing about Jack’s qualifications then processed what she said before, “Wait you radioed? Did you make contact? Is she ok?” he looked up at Maria from his hands, hopeful, wanting to know the most up-to-date status on your safeness. If he were a cricket and sat on your shoulder while you did all this, that would be his dream, but all he could do was sit and hope for your safety. 

Maria nodded, “She confirmed she was ok and they were on their way to gather Z. After our last assignment, we told him where to hide in these situations- so it should be a pretty fast rescue, and then depending if they can get air support or find a vehicle, depends how quickly they can get here. It’s about an 11-mile distance from here to there.” 

Joel nodded, “Was she hurt at all? Knowing her she’d go in hurt or not.” he chuckled softly, tears streaming down his face, he knew your stubbornness knew no bounds when it came to Z. 

Maria nodded, “She has a cut on her arm from an attack we had earlier today, but I patched her up in the field, she should be fine… and then as she was loading into the aircraft when we were leaving Delta 42, she was shot on her leg, but it was barely a graze wound. Hell, she treated it in the aircraft and just had a small limp. Both aren’t too serious, and she’s so damn stubborn she wouldn’t let that stop her.” Maria said with a small chuckle. 

Joel and Tommy both chuckled, nodding in unison, “She’s so damn stubborn, it’ll be the death of me.” Joel said smiling softly then pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, holding away a headache he was getting from crying the last few hours. 

“Oh Joel, she also told me to tell you: ‘I meant my last message with everything in me and I’ll keep my promise, it’s just taking me longer, but I’ll make it back’...” Maria said softly.

Joel knew exactly what you meant, it was exactly what he needed to hear. 

“Thank you, Maria, I needed to hear that.” he smiled softly and some sadness behind it. 

The radio went off with a whistle and then an explosion before a voice came through, your voice, “Delta 27 this is Delta 30, Maria, you still there?! Over.” 

Joel instantly perked up and moved closer to the laptop, on the edge of his seat, hands up to his face like he was praying. 

Maria hurried and grabbed the radio holding a finger up to the boys on the screen to stay quiet and to hold on, “Delta 30, this is Delta 27… this is Maria, what’s going on?” 

“Maria I’m in our bunkhouse, I… it's bad over here…” another whistle and explosion went off, “Shit… uh… things will get lost, what do you need me to grab for you from Regin- fuck, I mean Tommy? Over.” 

Joel heard the explosions and chaos in the background, his heart sank thinking you were close to danger. Tears started streaming down his face. His legs were bouncing with anxiety.  

“Fuck, you idiot, get out of there, leave it, your safety is more important than some letters! Over!” she shouted and then looked at Tommy, “Sorry Tommy, I-...” 

Tommy chuckled, “No need to apologize, baby, I agree with you. Just means I’ll need to write ya more letters.” he winked. 

You came back through, chuckling, “Cool, so everything, got it! Over!” 

Maria huffed frustrated with your lack of urgency or lack of awareness of your current situation, “Y/N so help me, if you don’t leave my shit and get out of there, I’ll order an air strike on you myself… get out of there now! Over.” 

No answer, static. 

Maria pushed the button again, “Delta 30, do you copy?” 

Static. 

Then after everyone held their breath for what seemed like minutes, you came through out of breath, “I’m here! I dropped the radio, sorry. We got everything, we are headed to Reggie’s bunkhouse now. I will keep you posted. Over and out!” 

“Wait! Maria, can I tell her something?” Joel asked with tears falling down his face. 

Maria nodded and then called out over the radio, “Delta 30, this is Delta 27. I have Joel for you, do you copy?” 

Almost immediately, he heard you out of breath, “Joel? Jo-” whistle and then an explosion closer than he heard before, “Shit, Joel? Can you hear me? Over.” 

Joel grabbed his chest hearing the explosion and smiled hearing your voice say his name, he started to sob softly and then asked, “I can hear you, baby, can you hear me? Over.” 

He could hear you crying, “I can hear you cowboy. Thank god… I needed to hear your voice.” there was a pause with some static, “I’m almost done, I promise. I’ll make it back. Over.”  

“I know, I know you will sweetheart, I just need you to stay safe, ok? Get Z and then get out. Don’t stay and try to help, come help where Reggie is. Come back to me. Over.” he said through tears. 

“I will. I love you.” there was a pause and static, “Joel, I love you. Over.” 

He smiled and chuckled, tears continuing to stream down his face, “I love you too, b-but you don’t get to say that again until you’re back here safe with me. Ok? You don’t get to say that as ‘in case you’re going to die I love you’. Over.” he pleaded. 

He could hear your soft laugh, “You have yourself a deal cowboy. I’ll see you soon. Over and out.” 

Then there was nothing but static. 

Maria looked at Joel and Tommy, “She’s in good hands, Jack and her are good together, they had great instincts in Delta 42. They’ll be ok.” she tried to help ease so much anxiety she knew Joel was feeling. 

Joel nodded and then sat back in his seat and started doing something he had been doing over and over in the last few days, praying, for you.

Reader’s POV

You had cleared your bunkhouse, but Z wasn’t there. Instead, you grabbed everything of yours and Maria’s, including your laptop. You didn’t care what Maria said, you knew these letters meant the same amount to her as they did to you from Joel. You grabbed all of the photos in your desk drawer that he had sent you and the candle he sent and booked it out of there as explosions kept shaking the place and if you didn’t get out, you could be trapped in.

After you got around a huge debris sight and took some back roads, Jack and you were headed to Reggie’s bunkhouse when he held out a fist for you to stop walking. The road was covered with dust, visibility was low, and something seemed off. 

You swallowed and tried to control your breathing, you looked at Jack for direction, and he looked at you, “Is there another way? This seems too risky…”

You shook your head, “No, it's this or nothing…” However, you agreed, that it was risky. “We couldn’t go up the main road, it’s blocked, this is the only side road…” you said scanning the area with your eyes.  

“Ok. Then we go in, back to back, walking sideways. There is a very high possibility of an ambush…” Jack said, pulling out his knife as well and holding it in his hand while he aimed his rifle up. 

You nodded and let out a breath, “The bunk house is no more than 50 yards straight ahead, then if Z is there, we can keep moving back up the north road to look for a vehicle. The north gate should be an easy exit point.” you said looking over at him while he gathered himself and turned around to go back to back with you.

“Got it. Let’s take this slow and steady, shoot anything that moves, ok?” he looked back at you. 

“Got it.” you nodded and then put your eye to your scope. 

You and Jack made it up the road with only two hiccups, one being you almost got killed but your hat saved your life, and the second was that Jack got shot in the upper arm, but it was a graze wound like your leg, something that could be assessed when you were in somewhere safe. You got to the bunkhouse and started to clear it out, scanning the area, you whispered, “Z?!” you heard a sound to the right of you and pointed your rifle straight at it, finger ready to pull the trigger. 

The flashlight shined, showing Z, hiding under the bunk bed, you moved your rifle so he could see your face, putting your safety on, “Z!” you said and knelt, holding out your arms. 

He immediately climbed out, limping, “Khahar!” he ran as best he could and hugged you, “I did what you told me, I hid and made no sounds, I was good.” he said crying into your embrace. 

You hugged him tightly, “Yes, you did so good. I’m so proud of you, you’re so brave.” 

He looked back at you and smiled, tears streaming down his face, “I couldn’t find Reggie, I looked, is he ok?” 

You nodded and wiped his tears with your gloves, softly laughing, “He’s ok. He was able to get out. He’s with Maria at another camp, she got hurt, but going to be ok. We are going to meet them there, yeah?” 

He nodded, and you looked down at his leg, “Z, are you hurt?” 

He nodded, “I got hit in the ankle with something heavy when I ran in here. It hurts really bad.” he cried in obvious pain. 

You nodded and put his face in your hands to comfort him, “Can I look at it? See if I can help?” you asked, looking into his eyes, softly smiling. 

He nodded and sniffled.

“Ok, can you sit down for me?” you asked softly. 

He sat down on the ground in front of you and you pulled out a flashlight, sticking it between your teeth. The room had little to no light, something must have affected its power in an explosion. 

You looked it over and determined that he had a broken ankle, nothing you could do now for him except manage his pain. 

You took the flashlight out of your mouth and looked at Jack, “Can you hold this for me?” you asked him, handing him the flashlight, he knelt and nodded. 

You unzipped your pouch and started drawing up some morphine, “I need to give you a shot Z, it’s going to help with your pain, can you be a brave boy and let me do that for you?” you asked softly, looking up at him. 

He took a few deep breaths and then nodded. 

You gave him the shot in his inner arm through a vein and then wrapped it with a gauze pad and some stretchy tape. 

You looked at Jack, “Let me take a look at your arm…” you said taking the flashlight to look at his arm.

“I’m fine, I’ll be fine.” he went to stand when you pulled him back down by his sleeve. 

“Yeah I’m not askin’, that was a statement Mr. Tough Guy.” you teased, looking over his arm. 

You pulled out your water tin and poured some water on it and then patted it dry with some gauze as it had gotten some debris in it. “You want a Hello Kitty or Disney Princess bandaid?” you asked as you sprayed some anti-bacterial spray on it.

“You have those options?” Jack questioned, not catching on that you were joking around. 

You chuckled, “Jack, I’m an army medic, do you really think I have those options with me?” you said as you put some clean gauze over the wound and then began wrapping it with some CoFlex bandage tape. Z giggled at Jack's face as he stuck his tongue out at you.  

He rolled his eyes and chuckled, “No… but for the record always Disney Princesses, and it better be Cinderella.” he stood when you finished. 

You chuckled, “Doesn’t surprise me you’re a Cinderella guy…” you teased.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he said, offended. 

You laughed and looked up at him, “I don’t know… you just have this, energy, not a bad thing, just sayin’...” you winked and looked down at your pouch, putting things back in. 

“Mmhm, sure.” Jack shook his head and chuckled.

You zipped back up your pouch and looked back up at Jack, “Ok, so, he can’t walk, I need to carry him. Can you cover us?” 

He nodded, “Yeah, if you can guide me, I can do that.” 

You nodded and scooped Z up in your arms, and kissed the top of his head gently, “Z, this is my friend Jack, he’s going to help get us out of here, ok?” 

He smiled at Jack, “Hello Mr. Jack.” 

Jack smiled and shook his hand through Z’s hair to make him giggle, “Hello Z…”

Z giggled and then nuzzled into your neck, you looked at him and smiled, “Can you put your arms around my neck and hold on tight to me?” you asked. 

He nodded and did so, but then lifted his head a little and said, “I love you khahar, thank you for coming back for me.” 

Tears welled in your eyes, “I would burn the world for you Z… and I love you too kiddo.” you kissed his head again and then looked at Jack and took a breath, “We need to keep heading north, there should be a humvee about 20 to 30 yards from here, it’s the Captain's quarters and knowing the protocol, he got out via air support so his vehicle should still be here.” 

Z nodded, “It is, I saw it when I was running, it’s there!” 

Jack smiled towards Z, “This kid I’m sure comes in handy…” 

You nodded and chuckled, “He’s my right-hand man, aren’t you Z?” 

Z nodded proudly. 

Jack chuckled and then opened the door and stepped out, clearing the area in front of you before you stepped out with Z. 

You held his head down with one hand and whispered, “Head down, stay quiet. I got you.” he nodded and kept his head down.

You and Jack walked slowly and carefully through the area, making it to where you could see the abandoned vehicle within your view. 

You and Jack walked slower than usual after seeing it, careful not to make too much noise as it was eerily quiet. 

You made it to the Humvee and set Z down in the back seat, “Ok let’s get you buckled in little man.” you started to buckle him in. He smiled at you “Are we going to see Maria?” he asked as you buckled the belt. 

You nodded, “Yeah, just a short car ride, easy and painless.” you moved back and smiled at him, feeling some relief this was close to being over, that you were able to get him to safety.

You stepped back a little and acted like a roller coaster operator, “Thank you for choosing to ride with us today, here at Delta 30 we ask that you please keep your hands and feet inside the cabin at all times!” you did the little gesture they all do to when they explain this at theme parks, then you did a cheesy smile “Thank you again for choosing us, and please enjoy the ride…” you said in a silly voice, making him giggle, you smiled brightly hearing his laugh. 

Jack chuckled at your performance and hopped in the driver's seat and pulled down the sunshade, “Shit. No keys…” he looked back at you, wondering what to do. 

You looked at him, “Inside, they’ve got to be inside, he has them hanging on the wall in his office… I’ll go grab them, stay with Z.” you grabbed your rifle around your front again and stepped into the building, your heart racing, breathing sharp and fast, anxiety through the roof. 

Lights were buzzing on and off, and rubble was everywhere, you walked slowly and cleared every blind spot. You slowly made it through the first floor, clearing the rooms, and walking up the first flight of stairs carefully. You walked down the hall and held your breath, careful to be quick but quiet. 

You finally made it to the office and saw the keys, you reached and grabbed them “Bingo!” you started heading out of the office when you heard ‘pop, pop, pop’, gunshots. 

You ran out as quick as you could, gun pointed forward, breathing fast and hard. You came out to Jack wrestling with two men, another on the ground, dead. You went to shoot at one of them to help Jack when you felt someone's arms around your throat from behind you, pulling you back, putting you in a chokehold. 

You gasped for air, but then let go of your rifle to hang around your neck and reached to your side holster to grab your knife as quickly as you could, fighting to stay standing as the person was trying to take you to the ground. You finally grabbed it from your holster and you reached back and stabbed your assailant in the side of the leg and then headbutted him in the face, pulling the knife out in the process of trying to get away. He screamed in pain and let go of you to grab his leg. You turned and went to stab him again but he was faster and punched you in the jaw, knocking you off balance backwards. 

You heard two more gunshots behind you. 

“Z! Get down!” you shouted, not seeing where he was but did so out of instinct. 

You regain your balance and put your fists up, holding the knife in your dominant hand to use as well. Your attacker stands up straight and pulls a knife out as well from a holster behind his back and grins sinisterly.

You readjust your knife for hand-to-hand combat. You let out a breath to calm yourself down roll your shoulders backward and your head side to side. You then square up your fists and take a step forward, he does the same and swings his fist toward you. You duck backward and to the side to dodge, and then take a swing yourself to his face, hitting him across the face, leaving a good slice across his cheek as your knife makes contact with your fist. 

He recklessly swings again toward you with just his fist and you block it by putting your arm up and then grabbing that arm and twisting it outward, and landing a hard hit to his most likely already broken nose. He yells in pain and then goes to stab you in the side but you block that by moving your knife to block it, which goes through his wrist. You then grab his wrist with your knife still in his arm, bring his arms together to incapacitate him, and then step back and kick him in the chest away from you. 

He stumbled back and then yelled loudly as he was mad he was being bested. He looked at you and spat in your direction, calling you a bitch in Dari, and then moved forward to kick you, you grabbed his foot and held him there grinned back at him, calling him ‘Khar Kuss’, which meant donkey fucker. 

He looked at you shocked which distracted him enough to take your knife from his wrist that was holding his leg to get away from you, stab him in his kneecap, and twist the knife. You then pulled him in quickly towards you, aiming the knife at his chest. He gasped and you whispered in his ear, “Bay pathar” (bastard) and pulled the knife out, letting him fall to the ground. 

You were panting, adrenaline high, making you buzz. 

You turned back hearing grunting to find Jack still wrestling with someone, being pinned to the ground, the knife being pushed to his throat, him pushing against it. 

You pulled up your rifle and shot the person in the head, making him fall to the side of Jack. You were both of our breath and on edge, Jack sat up on his elbows and looked your way, “Took ya long enough!” he held his throat. 

You chuckled manically, “Sorry, I was dealing with my own battle with death, princess!” you pointed to the dead body near you. 

You shook your head and chuckled at him rolling his eyes at you. 

You came over and held out your hand to help him up. He grabbed your hand and laughed finally as he stood. 

You both took a second and calmed your breathing, you leaned over with your hands on your knees. That’s when you heard coughing and gasping from behind you, you could swear your heart stopped for a moment realizing it was Z. 

You quickly turned around and found him in the back of the vehicle bleeding from his chest and stomach, holding his stomach and slumped in his seat. 

“No, no, no.. no! Fuck!” you ran and unbuckled him, eyes wide, there was so much blood. 

You quickly grabbed him and he fought against you in pain, “It’s ok, it’s ok, Z, it’s me… I know it hurts, please… I need to help you sweetheart.” you quickly grabbed him and laid him on the ground flat, he started shaking and gasping softly.

“Jack? Jack help me!” you frantically took off your gloves and started to put your hands over his stomach to put pressure on the bleeding. 

Jack looked at Z’s body, defeated, he knew this wasn’t something you could stop, “Y/N he… he’s lost too much blood, he’s not going to make it.” 

“No… No!” you shouted, pulling gauze out of your pouch with one hand while the other stayed on his stomach. You were angry because you knew deep down he was right, “Fuck you! You said the same about Maria, and she was fine!” you began to sob, packing, trying to stop the bleeding but it just kept coming, Z put his hands on yours like he was telling you to stop.

You looked at Z’s face, his breathing was sharp and fast, and he had tears stained on his cheeks. Blood was starting to come from his mouth most likely his chest wound. Then he started closing his eyes, “No.. no Z don’t close your eyes, Z look at me, keep your eyes on me.” you moved closer to him and touched his face gently, hands shaking, “Z eyes open…” and then brought him into your lap and sobbed, “Z, look at me, eyes on me baby boy… please…” you hold on to his head, pleading with him to wake up.

He opened his eyes and swallowed softly, “I’ll be ok khahar… I’m going to my papa and mama up in the clouds...” he said in between breaths with a small smile, tears falling down the sides of his face, looking up at you. 

You shook your head and tears streamed down your face, and your lips quivered, you held him close and rocked him back and forth keeping a hand on his cheek, keeping your eyes on him, “Z, you’re ok, stay with me… please...” you then brought him into your embrace and hugged him so lovingly, one arm around his tiny body, one hand holding the back of his head, gripped onto him, humming that song you and Maria did for him when you met him, continuing to rock back and forth, trying comfort him, you felt his body go limp after a couple minutes. 

You pulled him back from your embrace and looked at him, tears falling onto him, your voice breaking, “Z…?” you looked for any reaction, eyes searching, scanning every part of his for movement.

His eyes were looking up to the heavens, you put your hand on his cheek, it was cold, then you put your finger on his pulse point, and you felt nothing. 

You bowed your head to touch his forehead softly sobbing and then cried out a heartbreaking moan. 

You started rocking him back and forth, holding his lifeless body in your arms, shaking as you sobbed, frantically trying to hold him tighter to you. 

Jack put a hand on your shoulder, to comfort you, letting you have a moment to grieve. 

You sobbed and whispered to him, “I’m so sorry Z… I’m so so sorry…” over and over again into his hair, closing your eyes, kissing his head over and over again, cradling him as you continued to sob.  

A few moments went by and Jack heard some gunshots nearby and knelt beside you, “We need to go… Y/N, you need to let him go.” he started to pry your arms off of Z. 

“Jack… stop please…please…” you pushed him away, tears running down your face as you clung to him, wanting more time.

He was gentle but kept persisting, slowly prying you off Z, “Y/N he’s gone. We need to go, we are in danger. We need to go home…” He paused to gather himself, “Z… he’s with his family now… you need to let go… come with me.” he started to get teared up seeing your heartbreak, “Y/N… come with me, let’s go to Maria… to Joel…” he said softly trying to say anything to help you let go. 

You heard two more gunshots and knew it was time. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes one last time, and whispered into his skin, “Doostetaan daaram (I love you) Azzami. I promise I will see you again Z.” then you kissed Z’s forehead softly.

You reluctantly let go of Z’s body and Jack dragged you away from his body, as you sobbed uncontrollably as he walked you to the car, gently saying, “I know… shh shh… I know… it’s hard… I know. He’s safe now, he’s at peace.” he hugged you tightly, you gripped onto him for dear life, sobbing into his vest.

He put you into the car and shut the door. You looked at him one last time from your seat. “Wait, his eyes, close his eyes!” you said, voice breaking. 

Jack went over to his body and knelt by him, closing his eyes with his hand, and then stroked his head gently before standing and coming around to the driver’s side, starting the vehicle up. 

No matter how hard you tried, Z still died in the middle of the street. Just like the other children that you attempted so hard to evade becoming his fate. 

Once you and Jack got out of the north gate, Jack turned to you, you were looking down at your hands, they were covered in Z’s blood, your mind was going through everything that happened the last 10 minutes, where you went wrong to make this happen. 

“You wanna radio Maria? Let her know we are on our way?” he tried pulling from where he knew your mind was. 

You looked at him and then back at your hands, “I…Jack, I don’t know what I’m going to tell her. We… Z, he… we were all family, how do I say he’s dead?” you swallowed a lump in your throat. 

He looked at the road, “You don’t do it over the radio. You do when you are together and can grieve together. Just… just say you’re on your way. We should be there in less than 10 minutes.” he said, softly and trying to suggest something that might help you with what you’re battling with internally. 

You didn’t say anything, you just kept staring at your hands. 

“It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault. It just happened and there wasn’t anything we could do. We did everything we could to protect him. They… those men came out of nowhere, even I didn’t see them until they grabbed me.” He sighed. “If you’re blaming yourself, don’t. You couldn’t have stopped his fate.” he said and put a hand on yours, trying to offer comfort. 

You looked at him and gripped his hand, “I just… I feel so numb.” 

“It will go away. You’ll move on, and instead, hold him in your heart.” he said then swallowed, “I lost my partner in no man's land the first time I went. He… he was my Z. Like a little brother to me.” he gripped the steering wheel, tears welling up, “I found him with a hole in his chest, there was nothing anyone could do… so I just sat there and held his hand, told him I’d watch over his wife and son, and that they’d be ok.” he cleared his throat as tears fell down his cheeks. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him.” he pulled out some dog tags from under his vest, “I carry him everywhere I go, and it helps…” he looked over at you, “I saw you both had those bracelets on… keep yours, wear it every day. It’ll be your part of him.” 

You looked at your wrist and touched the bracelet you had on your wrist, let out a shaky breath, and then nodded. “Thanks for that Jack… I needed that.” you looked over at him and sadly smiled. “What was his name?” you nodded to his tags. 

“Ironically, his name was Zachary.” he chuckled sadly. 

You smiled sadly, “Our Z’s” You squeezed his hand again. 

You both looked at each other and nodded together before you continued driving. 

Maria’s POV

It had been over 2 hours since she had heard from you. Joel and Tommy stayed on the Skype call with her, Reggie knew the importance and found a way to plug in the power cord somewhere nearby. 

She got to know Joel and Sarah more. The four of them found comfort in each other while they waited together. 

“I can’t believe she took those pictures! I look like a troll in that one!” Maria laughed as Joel showed her some of the photos that were developed from your disposable camera. 

“I think you look like a cute troll…” Tommy took the photo from Joel and smiled at it. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended or not by that…” Maria chuckled. 

Tommy, Joel, and Sarah all chuckled together at that comment. 

“Delta 27, this is Delta 30, do you copy?” you came on the radio but it was going in and out. 

Maria grabbed it off the table and fiddled with it then called back, “This is Delta 27, is this Delta 30? Over.” 

There was static for a few seconds then you came on again, much clearer, “This is Delta 30, be advised we are 5 minutes out from location. Over and out.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, Joel chuckled with tears in his eyes, and Sarah hugged his side, tearing up too. 

“Delta 30, this is Delta 27, do you have Z? Can I talk to him? Over.” Maria asked, tears streaming down her face, smiling.

Static. 

“Delta 30, do you copy?” Maria asked. 

Static. 

She looked at the radio and then looked at one of the soldiers next to her, “Hey, do you guys have a bad radio connection between Delta 27 and 30?” 

He looked at her, “Depends on what road, if it's off-road, it can cause issues.” he shrugged. 

Maria nodded, her face showing concern. 

Tommy saw and softly spoke up, “Maybe it’s just a bad area? Their first response came in spotty, I bet they are ok…” he smiled softly. 

Maria nodded and took a breath. She put the radio down and then kept her eyes on the entrance gate. 

Less than 5 minutes later she saw Jack come through the gate and then you, you were covered in blood, but no Z. 

“Where’s Z?” she questioned, not connecting the dots yet then it hit her, realizing who’s blood that was.

Her face fell and tears welled up, she shook her head in disbelief.

“Maria, what’s going on? What’s happening?” Tommy asked seeing her face. 

“Jack! Y/N! Over here!” she shouted and started waving her hand to signal you over. 

You turned her way stopped in your tracks and caught her eyes. She mouthed ‘Z?’ to which you sadly shook your head. 

She put the laptop on the table next to her and held her stomach as she sobbed, “No… please no!” she cried. 

Reggie heard and came over, “Maria? What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“No! Not Z!” she shouted and held her hand over her mouth. 

Tommy instantly put it together, he looked at Joel and shook his head, “Z did make it…” 

Joel knew this would crush you, this wasn’t just some random person, this was your Z. If he hadn’t known, you could have been a mother to him with how you took care of him.

You and Jack began running over to her area. You had no idea Tommy, Joel, or Sarah were on the laptop, listening or watching. 

You took off your helmet and rifle near the bed and came up to her bedside, then pulled her into your embrace, hugging her so tightly. 

Joel saw you partially in the camera’s view. Relief flooded every atom in him, you were truly ok, you were safe. 

Sarah, Tommy, and Joel all stayed quiet, they knew you both were going to be crushed by this. 

You cradled her head with your hand and tears fell down your face as she sobbed, “I’m so sorry… Maria, I’m sorry.” you held onto her until she slowed down her breathing. 

You then pulled back, knelt by her bed, and swallowed down the emotion that was threatening up and out. You took her hand, took a deep breath, and looked up at her and Reggie who sat beside her, you started slow and spoke softly, “It was an ambush. Z had an injured ankle. He was in Reggie’s bunkhouse. He couldn’t even get away if he tried…” you sighed and looked down at the ground for a moment, “We went to go get Captain’s car, Z said it had been left behind. So when we got there… I buckled him in.. made sure he was safe and ready to go…” your voice cracked. You let out a breath before continuing, looking back up at them. “I went in to get keys for the Humvee but heard 3 gunshots on my way out.” your hand started to shake remembering details, Maria held your hand tighter.

Your breathing became shaky and quick, “I came out, two men were on Jack, one was already on the ground dead, but then before I could get to Z…” you looked at Maria and her only, “I… someone came behind me and put me in a chokehold…” you sighed and looked down ashamed, “I heard two more gunshots, I… I told Z to get down… but I was at knifepoint… I… I couldn’t get to him…” You looked up at her and Reggie, they both realized that was most likely the moment he got shot and put their heads down to quietly cry. You took a breath and then clenched your jaw, trying to hold it together, your tone changed, and there was slight anger in your tone, “I… I took care of my attacker, and then turned and saw someone was on Jack… so I shot them too. I…I have no idea how long Z was down.” you explained, and looked down and let tears fall on the ground, feeling ashamed and responsible deep down. 

Jack piped in as he stepped forward, “I was pulled out of the vehicle by the first man who was dead on the ground, then the other two were on me like flies on shit. I couldn’t see Z for a long time. I don’t know if the first three got him or the last two that got ‘em. I… we… we did everything… Y/N did everything the second we saw him.” he said as he looked down at you and then back up at Maria and Reggie, wiping a tear from his cheek. 

You nodded and looked at her and swallowed the lump in your throat, “He had chest and abdominal wound, he bled out… I…” you looked down and choked up, “I tried everything, but it was too late… there was so much… blood… he…” you cleared your throat and looked up at her, tears falling, “He died in my arms… I uhm… hummed that song we sang to him when we first met him… so he uh…” you chuckled through a sob. “He died knowing we loved him.” 

Maria chuckled with you and smiled at the comfort that would have brought him in that final moment, “Oh Z…” 

“He told me he was going to be with his mom and dad in the clouds…” you sadly said as you looked down starting to breathe faster, a sob starting to escalate, the emotions that you had shoved down erupting, “Fuck…” you chuckled and looked back at her, “He had no fear. He wasn’t scared. He…” Your knee began bouncing, and you could feel it all pushing to burst, so you stood and turned around to regain composure and had your fists clenched at your sides, your leg shaking to ground you, “Fuck… Fuck…” You looked to the sky and then closed your eyes and took a breath, opening your eyes back up, but then looked down and saw your hands, bloodied and shaking.

“Y/N… take a second…” Jack said, softly reaching for you. You reacted when he touched you and shoved him away, “No… I don’t…” you pointed at him, and then let out a shaky breath, angry at yourself, you felt overwhelmed, and overstimulated, everything became too much. So you looked around for anything to take your emotions out on. You saw a table next to you with medical instruments on it. You pushed it over angrily, and then winced and grabbed your hand, “God damn it!” you saw your cut your hand on something sharp, blood pouring out of your palm, you were huffing angrily when then as you saw the blood pour it melted into a sob. You dropped to your knees and cradled your hand to your chest.

Reggie immediately ran over and knelt to hug you, he held onto you tightly, “Hey, let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? Get that stitched up and those hands washed.” he pulled away and tried to look at you, touching your cheek, but your eyes were not with him all the way, you started to disassociate and you stared into the distance with tears rushing down your face.

He looked at Maria behind you, worry sketched across his face, Joel saw and unmuted the mic, and he spoke up softly, “Baby, can you hear me?” 

You sprang to stand up and turned around and for a second you thought he was there, you began frantically looking around, “Joel?” 

Maria pulled the laptop over into her lap and reached over to gently touch your arm, “Hey… right here…” 

You looked down and instantly knelt back by Maria and touched the computer screen, “Joel…” you looked and saw Sarah, you chuckled, “Sarah… I’m so happy to see you.” you smiled as tears streamed down your face. You looked and laughed softly, “Hey Tommy!” you needed this, you needed them. 

“Hey hey, you got it right this time!” Tommy teased. 

You smiled softly, and then looked at Maria, “Have you…” you looked back down at the computer, “Have you all been waiting online?” 

Joel smiled softly and nodded, “Of course darlin’… we’ve all been prayin’ for you to make it back.” he wiped some tears on the back of his hand, “I’m so sorry to hear about Z… what can I do?” he asked sincerely. 

“Unless you can discharge me, and send me home to you guys…” you chuckled sadly, “Just be here, stay here.”  

He nodded and smiled lovingly, “I’m not goin’ anywhere.” 

Reggie, knelt by you, “I need to take care of your hand… can I just pull you away for 5 minutes?” he said softly with the most sincere intent. 

You looked at your hand and then Joel and the group, “I’ll uh… I’ll be right back, I promise.” you chuckled to yourself as you walked away. 

Joel and Tommy let out a chuckle and nodded, “Good one!” Tommy shouted.

You stood and followed Reggie. He took you to wash Z’s blood off your hands and then gently took care of your hand, stitching it up and then wrapping it. 

He looked at you as you sat in front of him, eyes going through everything you’d been through and seen these last few days, he softly spoke up, “I know you couldn’t have done anything to save Z… but you did a lot more than you’ll give yourself credit for… you gave him comfort and that’s all anyone can ask for in their final moments.” he softly smiled and then hugged you tightly when you made eye contact with him. “I’m glad you’re safe, and thank you for coming to get me...” he said as he hugged you. 

You pulled back and smiled softly at him, “I would have turned every stone in that camp to find you, Reggie.” 

He nodded and tears fell down his cheeks, “I know you would have. You are someone who doesn’t give up on family. That’s why I think of you like a big sister. You’ve always been the one to protect us, and take care of everyone...” he took your hand gently, “I don’t have family back home, you and Maria and…Z… you are my family.” 

You nodded, put your forehead against his, and looked at him, “I love ya, Reggie.” 

He chuckled and put his hand on your shoulder, “I love ya too…” 

—

After you got done with Reggie you sat with Maria and talked with Joel, Sarah, and Tommy for about an hour, slowly opening back up. 

You saw Maria yawn and then Joel and Tommy as well. Sarah had already passed out on the couch nearby. You looked at the time and then smiled, “Alright, I think we all could use some rest. Plus it’s past your bedtime boys…” you chuckled standing up and stretching. 

Joel shook his head, “I’m ok baby, I want to talk to you longer…” he looked at you with those big brown eyes, “Please?”

You huffed as you released your stretch and chuckled, “No, no… you don’t get to use those now mister brown eyes.”

“5 more minutes?” he asked kindly. 

Maria looked at you and smiled tiredly, “You can take the laptop… I’m gonna get some sleep, I’ve been dozing off for the last 20 minutes…” She chuckled. 

Tommy smiled and yawned, “Me too, I’m gonna go get some rest in the guest room. I’ll talk to you later babe.” he smiled at Maria.

She smiled and nodded, dozing off pretty quickly. 

You took the laptop and carried it with you to a little area away from all the commotion, down a quiet alleyway “Can you still hear me?” 

Joel had taken the laptop upstairs to his room as well while you were walking, “Yeah, I can hear you darlin’…”

You smiled and then sat down and sat the laptop down on the floor in front of you, “I need to take this off, sorry, one sec.” you started taking off the heavy vest you had on and your jacket, feeling overstimulated by it, leaving you in a dark green tank top. 

Joel saw your arm and winced seeing the blood that had seeped through, “Oh baby, is that from when you and Maria were attacked earlier?” he looked at the screen a little closer.

You looked at it and nodded, “Yeah… at some point, I need to get this and my leg looked at...” You looked at your pouch and pulled out some tape, “I’m just gonna tape it up, that way I can get a nap in, and then I can worry about it later...” you smiled at him, “Hey uh… I wanted to apologize for stressin’ you out the last few days. I know it has been hard and I just, I know I don’t have anything to apologize for, but still…” as you spoke you taped your arm up and then pouted your bottom lip out to concentrate while you finished as it was a weird angle. 

“You know it’s real hard to listen to a word you’re sayin’ when you're doin’ that lip pout thing…” he lovingly looked at you like you hung the moon and stars. 

“What lip pout thing?” you looked at him confused.

“You know, the thing you do when you’re concentratin’, you know, this?” he mimicked it.

You giggled softly, “You’re kidding me, I do not do that!” 

He grinned, “Darlin’, you do and when you’re thinkin’ real hard you do this nose scrunch thing too…” he chuckled. 

You pursed your lips and shook your head, trying not to smile, “Nope, I don’t believe it.”

Joel bit his lip, and shook his head, looking at you adoringly. 

“What? What are you looking at and shaking your head about there handsome…” you smiled at him, teasing him. 

“I’m just thinkin’ how I can’t wait for the day where I don’t have to wait to kiss you when you do something that reminds me of why I love you…” he said like he was committing a vow to you. He meant every word. 

You blushed madly and looked down, smiling widely, speechless. 

“For example, if I was with you, I’d gently grab your chin and pull you up to look at me with that big beautiful smile I know you’re wearin’ right now…” he wets his bottom lip, “I’d then cradle your cheeks with my hands and look into your eyes. I’d memorize every hugh of color in them, look over every detail of your breathtaking face, every freckle, dimple, scar. I’d make the world stop for you.” he stopped and you looked up at him with so much love and adoration in your smile. 

He smiled right back at you, “Then I’d bring you to my lips slowly, and kiss you with every fiber of my being…” he shyly looked down for a second, “Then I’d hold you close to me, while the world belonged to just you and I for that time.” he looked back up into your eyes.

You teared up and couldn’t help the smile on your face, but you didn’t shy away from him, you just stayed in that moment where the two of you just felt utter devotion and love for each other. 

“Where have you been all my life, cowboy?” you said softly, shyly pulling your knees up to your chest and putting your face in your arms to look at him. 

“Waiting right here, it’s always been you…” he said smiling softly, eyes dancing around your features. 

You smiled behind your arms brightly, “As it’s always been you for me...”

Joel sighed contently and then a yawn betrayed him, and your eyes widened, and you gasped, pointing at him, “Ah ha! You are tired!” you teased. 

Joel raised an eyebrow and chuckled, covering his mouth, “How are you not? How long have you been up?” 

You looked at your watch and then did the math in your head, your nose doing that scrunchy thing he referred to earlier, “That! You do that!” he shouted, pointing at you.

You giggled and looked at him, “What? I do what?” 

“The thing with your nose, you just did it!” he laughed softly. 

“Cowboy I think you’re a little tired.. you’re seein’ things…” you teased.

He chuckled lowly and smirked, “Oh that’s not fair, no… baby I know what I saw…”

You shrugged and nodded slowly, “Ok honey, you saw it.” you mocked him, biting your lip, loving getting a rise out of him.

He bit his lip, devilish thoughts clouded his mind of what he wanted to do with you at this moment with how you were teasing him, he smirked at you. 

You bit your lip and cocked your head, watching him, “And now you’re thinkin’ of some not-so-family-friendly thoughts cowboy… you naughty boy.” you grinned and tsked him. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” he licked his bottom lip, and pumped his hips up, his cock starting to get hard by the banter. 

You leaned in closer and said lowly, “I’d sure as hell like to be shown…” 

He let a shaky breath out and swallowed hard, his cock now hard and pressing against his boxers painfully. 

You bit your lip again and looked down, “Now, I’m no fortune teller, but judgin’ by your lack of speech, I’m gonna just go ahead and assume that if I was there, you and that cock of yours would like to show me a thing or two right now with how I’m actin’, isn’t that right cowboy?” then looked back up and met his gaze, smirking. 

Joel's throat went dry and he just slowly grinned. He liked this side of you, it was sexy as hell.

He swallowed and cleared his throat, and sat up a bit, cocking his head to the side and tilting it up a little to challenge you back. He said lowly, stretching out every word with his drawl, every syllable, bewitching you, “Oh baby, you have no idea of the things I wanna do to you… passionately… slowly… taking every… little… moan from your lips and drinkin’ it down like whiskey…” he looked you up and down with his eyes, and then bit his lip and continued to grin, “I wanna get drunk off you and that pretty little pussy you have.”

You ran your tongue against the back of your top molars, thinking, grinning, raising an eyebrow at him, blushing brightly, feeling bold, knowing this was hurting him more than you, knowing you were being a tease, “You’d like that wouldn’t you, hearing me moan and fall apart on that cock of yours, cowboy? Beggin’... pleadin’... calling your name into your ear, as you’d claim me with each thrust…”

His breathing became quick and uneven, he reached down to palm himself through his boxers. 

“Mmm, I think we’re past our five minutes cowboy…” you teased. 

“Baby, please…” he groaned, looking at you with those big brown eyes, pleading. 

You looked up and saw you were in a pretty public area still, you pulled out your headphones from your bag and plugged them in, then looked at him, biting your lip, “You’ve got 3 minutes baby, tell me what you’d need if I was in that lap of yours right now…” 

He reached a hand inside his boxers and grunted, his head falling back against the bedframe, eyes fluttering as he let out a groan as he began to stroke himself, “Fuck, baby…” he looked back at you, eyes full of lust, “If you were in my lap… I’d have you wrap your legs around me, while we sat on the bed, and I’d support your back with my arm while tilting you ba-” he whined and tilted his head back again, “Oh fuck…” 

You grinned, biting your lip, you couldn’t touch yourself where you were but you’d be using these sweet sounds he has using later to your advantage. “Baby, tell me more…” you purposely made yourself sound breathy, in an attempt to fuel his fire. 

“I’d tilt you back just a tad darlin’... just to get that sweet spot I know will make you see stars… gripping my free hand into your soft and delicious hip to hold you where I want ya…” he grinned, speaking in a lower-toned voice, “I’d feed you my cock nice and slow at first, dragging it in and out, swallowing every moan you’d pleasure me with.” he tightened his jaw and swallowed a moan down, “Oh fuck, you’d feel so good around me, god I want you so bad baby…” he preached, stroking himself a bit faster. 

You enjoyed watching him fall apart, crumbling just thinking about you on top of him a little too much. You could feel how drenched your panties were and the pressure they were creating against your clit was starting to become unbearable. 

“I want you so much cowboy, come for me. Tell me how you’d come, baby…” you pleaded, asking softly. 

He leaned his head back again and shut his eyes, imagining you instead of his hand, panting quickly and excited, “Oh god, I’d make you cum at least once, more if I could hold on long enough…” he grinned, “I… I’d put my hand between our bodies and rub lazy circles on your clit while I fucked up into your sweet, tight pussy… I… ohhh… f-fuck…” he groaned loudly. “I’d pull an orgasm from you and tell you how good you’re taking me, how you’re such a good girl for taking my cock… I’d want to suck love bites into your skin, whispering love poems as I trailed my lips along your body…. and I’d… I….” he swallowed and tried to hold on, “I’d tell you that I love you and that I worship you and that I’m yours, fully, every part of me is yours baby… that….” his breathing became quicker as he rambled, “I… fu-fuck…” he stuttered as he felt the pull of a climax approaching. 

You interrupted and said slowly and softly, “I’d tell you that I’m yours and that I love you more than you know… I’d drag my fingers through your hair while saying prayers of pleasure as my lips kissed against your neck, jaw, and earlobe, worshipping how you feel deep inside me…” you said starting to sound excited and breathy truly now yourself, “I’d want your lips on mine as you came in me, whispering to each other sweet nothings as we both came down from our highs, intoxicated by each other.” you said and saw him flex his jaw and keep his head back, eyes shut, and then moan your name as he came, out of breath, beginning to chuckle, he lifted his head and looked at you, grinning drunkenly. 

You giggled, biting your lip shyly. 

He swallowed and sat up to look at you better, “Just for the record, this will be the only time that I cum before you’ve had the chance to, you understand baby?” he panted, looking at you with eyes of lust, drunk on you and the thought of having you that way. 

You nodded and grinned shyly, “Yes sir…” 

He swallowed hard and shook his head before he bit his lip, “No baby, you can’t do that to me, you’ll get me goin’ again…” he chuckled, still out of breath.

You cocked your head, now curious, “Can’t do what…sir?” you bit your lip, smirking. 

He pushed his hair back and tried to slow down his breathing, “Darlin’…” he smirked at you, “Please… not there… you do that when you’re here… when I can…” he shyly looked down a little, “when I can show you what that actually does to me… and can show you how good I can make you feel.” he looked at you and grinned before biting his bottom lip. You could tell he was thinking of what he’d do to you just by the way his eyes danced over yours.

You blushed a new shade of red and nodded, looking down shyly.

“Good. I uh… I’ll be right back baby, I need to clean up.” he went to get up but you stopped him. “As much I am thoroughly enjoying this, I need to get some rest, and so do you. Can I call you sometime tomorrow, I promise not to run off on some stupid dangerous assignment again.” you chuckled and rolled your eyes. 

He smiled softly at you and nodded, “Yes. Let’s do that darlin’, just message me when you wake up, yeah?” 

You nodded and let out a yawn. 

“There we go!” he exclaimed. 

You giggled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “I love you, cowboy…” 

He smiled and looked at you for a few seconds, taking you in, “I love you darlin’...”

You charged your laptop when you were given a bunkhouse to share with Reggie, and saw all the messages Joel had sent you when you were away. You read them all over and over, smiling and completely losing your mind over a select few: 

‘I love you darlin’, but I need to say that to you with my arms around you, lips to yours. I need you here with me.’’ 

You would never get tired of hearing he loves you, and you would never tire of saying it to him. You couldn’t wait to be with him, you hated this distance now that you both confessed your feelings.

‘I want to spend the rest of my days with you, taking care of you, protecting you, loving you… please, I can’t lose you.’ 

You couldn’t wait for this either, you were hoping the days of being away from him were getting less and less. You didn’t know what the future held for you with Delta 30 falling just a couple of days ago but you secretly hoped it would send you home, even just for a short time. 

‘One day, I’m gonna marry you. Spend the rest of my days trying to make you as happy as you make me.’ 

‘He’s going to marry me. I’m going to marry him. God, he wants to be my husband, and I get to be his wife.’ you told yourself as you beamed, kicking your feet in your bed as you read that one over and over maybe 100 times. 

‘I got your letter today… Let’s do that barbeque when you get home. I’ll invite everyone for you to meet, we’ll make it a big deal, I’ll have Sarah decorate the yard and house, you and I, we’ll cook all day together, then we’ll host the best damn barbeque you’ve seen. And I’m taking you dancin’, we’ll get all dressed up, and I’ll get you your own hat and boots. We’ll dance the night away. I’ll hold you so close and sing to you how much I love you. I’d sing it from the rooftops, my love.’

These things, where he wanted to include you in his life, with Sarah, made your heart swell and made you fall deeper for him. The way he described every detail of what he wanted with you, you knew you found the one. 

‘You asked for my ideas, I wanna take you out to this place in the city, I already have our name down, since theirs a waitlist. I wanna get you dressed up, take you shoppin’ for anything you want, then take you out and worship the ground you walk on. You deserve only the best, my love’ 

You couldn’t help but imagine what you’d wear… hell what he’d wear and how you’d both have the hardest time keeping your hands off each other all night. You thought about this scenario often, especially late at night when you’d moan his name into the darkness. 

‘I wanna take you and Sarah to a concert to that artist ya’ll like, Taylor Swift? I’ve been listenin’ to her music, learnin’ the words, so I can sing along with you both. The second you get home for good, I’m bookin' tickets.’ 

He remembered you liked Taylor Swift after a mention of you saying you liked one of her songs weeks ago, which led to you saying you’d love to go to one of her concerts, but you felt they were so expensive and never had the time or money to do that for yourself. He remembered, and not only that, he was actively learning and engaging so that when he would go with you, he would enjoy it with you both too. 

‘I wanna take you up in my truck to this lookout a few miles away from here, we can get pillows and blankets and deck the damn truck out with those fairy lights if you want to, then we can star gaze and I can wrap you in my arms and hold you while you watch the universe above us, while I hold mine.’

‘...we can star gaze and I can wrap you in my arms and hold you while you watch the universe above us, while I hold mine.’ You wanted that tattooed on your forehead. The poetry of that last line made you want to jump and dance for joy. For which you did… to ‘Mine’ and ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift on repeat for the next two days. 

—

You kept your promise and you and Joel Skype called the next day for 4 hours, you both fell asleep with the laptops in each other's beds, Joel fell asleep due to it being nighttime for him, and you fell asleep due to exhaustion. 

When you woke up a few hours later you saw him fast asleep, peacefully asleep, you just laid there, pretending for just a few moments you were next to him, able to touch his cheek, gently stroke your fingers through his hair, and whisper to him how much you love him and you are so grateful for him while he rested.

You kept the video chat on for as long as one of your batteries allowed, and when you woke up again a few more hours later your laptop was dead but for a short little while it felt real, being next to him while you both slept. 

5 days later 

You helped around the med tent as much as they allowed you to. Since coming back from no man’s land, they were very insistent that you rested and took things easy but sitting still was hard for you when you saw work to be done.                                                                                

You were helping resuscitate a young man when your commanding officer came over and looked at you, “Y/N, when you are finished here, will you come to my office and have a word with me?” 

You looked up at him and nodded, “Yes sir.” you continued to do some CPR for a few more minutes before declaring there was too much time his brain had been without oxygen and called it a time of death. 

You cleaned your hands up and then went over to Maria’s bunk quickly, “Hey, Sarge just called me into his office, do you know what for?” you asked, anxious by the out-of-pocket request. 

Maria shrugged and shook her head, “No… I mean… maybe because I’m leaving tomorrow he’s letting you know your reassignment? I’m not sure… but I’m sure everything will be ok.” she softly smiled up at you. 

You nodded and began walking the way to his office. 

‘There’s no way they are sending me out again on a field assignment, I have no partner, and I’m still recovering.’ you anxiously told yourself, trying to convince yourself this was just a check-in, he had to just be checking in, right? They wouldn’t be that cruel to send you back out… right?

You opened the door to the building his office was in and instantly your heart began to race, anxiety building. 

You walked up to his office door and took a deep breath and then lightly knocked on his door. “Sir? It’s Specialist Y/N…” you said softly, swallowing down your nerves. 

“Ah yes, please come in Specialist…” he said with a bellowing voice. 

You twisted the knob and then came in, and shut the door behind you then stood to attention, saluting him.

“At ease…” he said standing up from his desk. “Please, sit…” 

You let out a shaky breath and quickly moved to sit down, you looked at him with your hands in your lap, “Thank you, sir.” 

He smiled tightly, “I wanted to talk to you about your future here.” he began. 

You instantly began picking at your cuticles, nervous about what lay ahead for you. 

“I know your partner Specialist Maria Atkinson will be leaving tomorrow and before her, your other teammate Specialist Terrence Johanson left us… all because of your sacrifice.” 

You looked at him, confused, “Sir? I-I’m sorry?” 

“Well, both are alive because of you and a sacrifice you made when their lives were in danger.” he stood from his chair, “You went into active combat zones, shots firing at you, putting your life on the line to pull them to safety. Specialist, without you, they would most likely be having their families mourning their deaths…” he said as he rounded his desk and sat on the end of it, keeping eye contact with you the whole time. 

“Sir, I was only doing my job.” you straightened up a little, “My job is to save lives, I didn’t… I didn’t do anything special. I… sir, I did what I did because they were lives needin’ to be saved, they were in danger, hurt, and needed help.” you said with tears in your eyes, “I… mean, yes, I made promises to each to get them and their families… to get them back home safely…” you shrugged, “I’d like to believe I’m a man of my word, but I didn’t do anythin’... heroic?” you said honestly. 

He nodded and folded his arms, “I have also been told by Agent Coleman that you were an integral part in getting Captain Williams out of Delta 42 safely, in fact, he said that without your quick thinking and planning, the group wouldn’t have made it out.” he looked down at you. 

You swallowed, and your foot started to anxiously tap, “Sir, again, I was just doing my job. Our assignment was to get him out, that’s what I did.” you looked at him, confused as to why he was bringing all this up. 

“Specialist, did you also not put yourself back in harm's way to go back into Delta 30 to pull out your fellow medic Specialist Reginald Mackey and the child we knew as Z?” he asked.

You stiffened up at the mention of Z, tears formed in your eyes, and you looked away from him and at a statue on his desk to focus on something, not on the loss of Z, you swallowed the lump in your throat, “Yes sir I did.”

He nodded and stood up from sitting on the desk, “I’ve been told that as you were getting into the plane as you were leaving Delta 42… you were struck by enemy fire in your leg, affecting your ability to walk, is that true?” 

You looked up at him, confused by the line of questioning, “Yes sir but it-” 

He cut you off, “Thank you for the confirmation Specialist.” 

You looked at him and was so fucking confused, what the hell is happening. 

“Please stand Specialist Y/N.” he turned around to grab something on his desk. 

You stood from your chair and kept your hands to your side, letting out an anxious breath, eyes front. 

He turned around and took your specialist patches off your uniform, “On behalf of the United States of America and the United States Army, we thank you for your service and sacrifice. You are hereby promoted and shall be given the respect and command of Sargent.” he replaces it with Sargent patches on your shoulder and chest. “Due to your acts of service and sacrifice in the rescue and retrieval of Specialist Atkinson and Specialist Johanson, attempted rescue of Specialist Mackey which put your life on the line when it wasn’t a command or assignment- as well as in the rescue mission of Army Commander Williams from Delta 42, resulting in medical injury, you are hereby medically discharged and will return home to North Carolina in three days at 0900 hours.” he handed held out an envelope for you to take with one hand and his hand to shake with the other. 

You stood there in shock. “Sir?” 

He smiled gently and grabbed your right hand, shaking it, and putting the other hand on your shoulder, “You’re going home, soldier.”

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Taglist: @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen

A/N: i sobbed writing this one, uncontrollably at one point, and was also kicking my feet, giggling and squealing... i hope you enjoy it as much as i loved writing it 🖤